“I’ve moved on but feel guilty”

I cheated on my lost-distance boyfriend of 4 years, with a guy I’ve known for a while (who was in the same city as me), but who was dating my friend at the time (he cheated on her also).

My boyfriend (“Adam”) and I had been falling out and I was having some issues that he sort of ignored, while the other guy, we’ll call him “Wade”, paid attention and asked me about them and was really there for me when I needed it. By cheated, I mean we kissed three times over the course of one week, and then I told Adam about it the next time I saw him, which was the next day. Fast forward 6 months and me and Wade are deeply in love and have a level of communication I didn’t even think was possible in a relationship, which just leads me to realize my time with Adam wasn’t very good all in all.

Anyways, Adam and Wade’s ex-girlfriend both have new partners, so I figure they’re doing okay for themselves. However, I have this horrible guilt over Adam. I’m worried I ruined his life and he’s going to be miserable for the rest of his life and it’s all my fault. His current girlfriend doesn’t want me speaking to him because she’s jealous, so I don’t know if he’s doing okay. How can I get over this horrible guilt? I realize I screwed up, but everyone else is moving past it and I just want to be able to live my life.

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2 thoughts on ““I’ve moved on but feel guilty”

  1. Anonymous says:

    If they moved on, so could you. Adam obviously isn’t that heartbroken if he already has a new girlfriend. If he was severely hurt by your cheating then he wouldn’t have found a new girlfriend THAT fast. It sounds to me like the breakup happened for a good reason as you’re meant to be with Wade.

    4 years is a long time to be dating someone so it’s natural to feel guilty about cheating on them, even if you’re broken up and moved on. Guilt is natural and shows you have a conscience. But don’t let it eat you up and ruin your relationship with Wade. The past is the past and letting it interfere with your present and future is recipe for disaster.

    Good luck with your new bf!

  2. Anonymous says:

    Agreed. Don’t bother Adam. All you would do is start new drama on top of the old and give your new boyfriend something else to question your sanity.

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