Hi, I have a problem and I was wondering if I could get peoples’ honest opinions about it, because honestly, I am utterly horrible with relationships and feelings, and I figured there are likely people out there with more experience and relationship smarts than me. I honestly feel kind of stupid for going somewhere for advice because I’ve always been the kind of person to keep my problems to myself, but this has been going on for about a year and I guess I’m just tired of not knowing what to do.
So, anyway, here goes. My best friend and I go way back – we’ve known each other since before we went into elementary school. But, in this last year or so, I’ve been starting to finally realize that I’ve been starting to like her as more than friends. At first I ignored it, for many reasons; first of all, there’s the whole problem of not knowing how she’d react if I told her, and not wanting to lose her as a friend. She’s my best friend, I kind don’t know what I’d do if I lost her, you know? Then, there was the fact that she was dating someone who doesn’t deserve her. They’d broken up once before, back then. Recently, they’ve broken up over him talking with another girl (among other issues they’d been having, that was the main thing she talked to me about), and gotten back together once more.
Both times they’d broken up, I considered telling her how I feel, but first of all I was too much of a coward, of course, and second, she’d dated him a long time, and she was struggling to get past it. What kind of person would I be to just dump more on her like that? I’d only make things harder on her, and honestly, that would just be selfish of me. I know she isn’t happy with him, she told me she feels trapped and is only in the relationship because she feels stuck. He’s becoming more pushy and possessive since they got back together. I’ve tried many ways to get her to realize he isn’t right for her, but there’s a point where I have to stop before I make her upset over it. After all, it’s her life and her decision. In the end, I don’t care if we get together or not – I just want her to be happy.
But, on the other hand, I feel that if we were in a relationship, she would be happy, because first and foremost I respect her and want nothing but the absolute best for her. I guess, after all this ranting, I’m just wondering if you guys think it would be best to tell her the truth or to keep it to myself? And, if I do tell her, how do you think I should go about it? I know for certain I want to tell her in person, but I also thought of giving her a heartfelt note with a gift, or even possibly just kissing her (but that would lead to WAY more harm than good). Thanks for reading my giant spiel, and sorry about the cliché love story.