This is going to be a bit long I guess, but please bear with me because I am in a difficult place and I need help right now. So, I met this guy, A, in 6th grade and we became close. We admitted back then that we had a crush on each other but then our friendship kind of faded because we didn’t hang a lot anymore again and I forgot why.
Then in 9th grade we became close again and I really enjoyed being around him but I only saw him as a best friend as I was having a crush on another guy at the time. And then at 10th grade, he and another guy confessed to me they liked me but I stupidly chose the other guy and he turned out to be a jerk.
After we broke up, A still had a crush on me but I didn’t see him that way, I guess because I’d always seen him as only my best friend and couldn’t imagine being in a relationship with him. He still chased me though but later on he got close to my best friend and now they’ve been dating since. This is where I got effed up, I realised months later that he’s the perfect guy for me and everything that I could ask for. I regret rejecting him and I fell hard for him, really hard.
Unfortunately they’re still dating. One day I admitted to him that I like him and he said he too still liked me, so we’re kind of getting really close behind his girl’s back. Fast forward, his girl found out and we stopped talking. And now, a year later, we got close again, no one knows. I know this is bad, but I don’t know what to do. I’m in love with him now and everyday I regret rejecting him back then. If only I wasn’t so blind. And he admits to me that his girl now was a rebound for me. But he’s ‘stuck’ now and can’t really break up with the girl. He said he wants a good last impression to his friends as this is our last year and he’s going to study abroad next year. We promise each other to meet there because I’m going to study where he studies too later on. What should I do now? I’m in a dilemma.