We’re sitting here talking, and he’s texting her. He doesn’t think I know, but I do. He changes her name to the person he is talking about or “talking to” the most that day and acts like the conversation is still going on.
She is his “ex”-wife (and I use that term loosely), and I am his fiancee. He has told me stories of how horrible she was to him, and how she “bamboozled” him into marriage. Yet he still talks to her. I know a woman’s intuition is usually spot on, but not only do I have that “gut feeling,” I have the proof to back it up. I know what time he actually gets off work, but he doesn’t know I am aware of the time.
H stays with me every night and talks to me all day long, but I know when he is talking from work, and talking when he is with her. We have dubbed the day I found out about him being married (we have been together for over a year — again — now, and this is a recent issue from August) to be called “D-day.” He has “walked away” from everything he owns and knows, and I know that he hasn’t.
This is a very tender, touchy, quick-to-fight topic for us, and I know I need to bring it to his attention — that I’m not as dumb as he may think I am, that I know. But I am scared I will lose him. I have money invested into planning the wedding, my girls have already gotten their dresses, and the groomsmen are all in agreement with the tuxes we have picked.
Yet they have no idea who I am or that I am apart of his life. I need some advice on how to bring this up in a “it has to stop” manner instead of anger and rage. It breaks my heart, breaks me down, makes me reevaluate myself, and then ultimately … pisses me off. I don’t know what he is telling her as to why he isn’t home at night, but I want to call her myself and say, “do you truly know where he is right now? Do you know that he is lying down with me at night and promising me the world while talking very badly of your name? Do you know these things?”
He just dedicated a song to her called I like you better dead, yet just went to the restroom to call her and tell her he loves her. I am in love with him, he stole my heart years ago, and it has been his ever since. That is why I keep sweeping it under the rug, but I feel like I am mentally breaking myself down and driving myself crazy. I want him all to myself, and I am very selfish, stingy, and territorial over my man. What do I do, how do I approach this?