“He wants to be friends with benefits, but I think I might have feelings for him”

So, I just got out of a relationship that was two weeks shy of two years. Though I still cared for him, I’d been done with the relationship much before I finally broke it off.

A friend of mine and I hung out last night (three days after the breakup), and one thing led to another and we had sex. I thought he’d been trying to hit on me before he realized I had a boyfriend, and then once I was single, he seemed much more into me. He calls me pet names and liked it when I cuddled with him and would kiss him on the cheek. He was super-sweet and seemed super-into me as well. I don’t know if I was just reading too much into it because I didn’t understand or what?

Here’s the kicker: he said he’s not looking for a relationship, and that he’s glad we’re on the same page now. He just wants to stick with “friends with benefits” right now. The problem I’m having is I’ve never done “friends with benefits” before, and I think I have feelings for this guy.

Should I tell him I’m not interested anymore and keep it strictly platonic, or should I tell him I have feelings for him and see what happens?

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One thought on ““He wants to be friends with benefits, but I think I might have feelings for him”

  1. onefemalearch says:

    Honestly, as someone that “fell on the trap” of trying friends with benefits because maybe he’d grow to like me as more in the future, I wouldn’t go through with it.
    Yes, it’s all fine and dandy when you’re both on the same page but if you think you may have feelings for him (and judging by how you’re trying to figure if he does too, you have) I’d say: tell him you cannot go any further with it ‘because’ you have feelings for him and he doesn’t, see what he answers. He’ll either understand and agree, try to convince you to still go forth with the fwb thing, or stop talking to you. I hope he does the first and you can still be friends but if he tries the second I’d tell you not to agree because that was what happened to me: I believed the “Lets see how things work out, maybe I’ll have deeper feelings for you in the future” and guess what? That never happened 🙂
    Not everyone is the same but if you already have feelings for him and he doesn’t then just drop it, there’s so many fish in the sea that you’ll find someone with the same hopes and dreams soon enough.

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