“My fiancé has no sex drive”

My fiancé, set to be husband in two weeks, has no sex drive. He’s 28, I’m 25, I’m not sure what the issue is. I’m lucky if we are intimate once a month. We’ve been together for three years. In the beginning it was definitely not like this. I’m more experienced & wouldn’t have a problem doing it daily.

We started to fall off before I got pregnant & now the baby is almost a year old. I’m just at a loss for self worth at this point & he is well aware of that, but still never makes a move. Am I pressuring him to much? I realize we have different work schedules, but still have at least an hour between shifts & a day or two off a week together. I’m just at a loss & don’t know what to do anymore…

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One thought on ““My fiancé has no sex drive”

  1. Dennis Hong says:

    You say that he never makes the first move. Does he respond if you initiate? Because if you do, then maybe that’s just what you have to do for now. If he’s just not a sexual person, it may not even occur to him, so it might help if you give him a nudge every now and then.

    Ultimately, I think the issue here isn’t so much the difference in sex drive, as it is that he doesn’t seem to care to change this. My suggestion is to tell him, in as non-accusatory a tone as you can, how hard this is for you. You respect that he’s just not a sexual person, but you are, and as such, you’re hoping that the two of you can come to some sort of compromise.

    And then, I think all you can do is see how he responds. If he expresses understanding, then you have something to work with. If he doesn’t seem like he’s interested in doing something about this, then … well, you either have to accept the situation for what it is. Or you have to decide if this is a dealbreaker.

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