“I regret not pursuing love for this guy”

I’ve had an ongoing romance with my first love since I was 14. We had met and dated for just over a year before shit became too much. I’m about to turn 22 and even though we have had relationships with other people and am now currently both in relationships with people we both care about, we still feel the need and desire for each other. It’s like I know when he’s thinking of me, or ill get a thought about him just before he contacts me. And when we don’t speak for however long, we both tend to dream about one another and we begin to miss each other until we get in touch and than it’s like a big feeling of relief.

I have a partner and I’m grateful for him, he treats me like a queen and I genuinely want to be with this man and have kids and grow old etc. but I feel guilty for always feeling drawn back to my ex and even worse that it’s the same for him despite us being with other people.

I’ve only been with my partner for a year now but 3 years ago when I was working in a hospital, I met an elderly lady in one of the wards that I’d speak to regularly. She would cry a lot and I’d ask her what was wrong and she’d always tell me how much she regrets not being with the man she always longed for. She said she had a great husband and they had a good life but that she had always been in love with another man and it wasn’t until she had become much older that she realised how much she regrets not pursuing their love for one another and I use to always think about that story because I could feel the truth in it, I could feel her heart ache but I always found myself wondering how she could have stayed with a man even though she knew she was in love with someone else…. 3 years later and I find that she was teaching me a lesson without even knowing it. I don’t know what to do.

 

“It’s her first time and I want to make it special for her”

I’m 16 right now and I need advice. My girlfriend and I have been together for about 8 and a half months. We haven’t made love yet, but I can tell she wants to . As a matter of fact she even told me she did, but we haven’t yet.

I know it’s her first time, so how do I make it special for her? I love her with all my heart and I would love it if I could have this be the most memorable moment… any ideas beside the usual candles and rose petals??

“My girlfriend isn’t romantic at all”

I’m in a 5 month relationship and yesterday we had a bit of an argument, we were playing basketball and when we sat down I asked her a rather silly question but it was serious, would she go to my games when I joined the college team, she replied with ‘I don’t know.’

I’m not going to lie, I was a bit angry because I always try to make her happy with everything and even if she has to lie to me I would figure that the correct answer is yes. I got thinking why I was angry at that little thing, even though it would have been best to say yes. From what I thought, I was angry because I just don’t see her fair share of romantic stuff. It’s not about effort because we see each other every day and always talk but it’s a bit more than that. Continue reading

“I can’t stop thinking and talking about him”

I really, really like this guy, who also happens to be a good friend. I’ve known him for almost two years and felt nothing romantically towards him at first, but after getting to know him, I realized I like him more than a friend.

He often gives mixed signals, we’ve matched on Tinder about a dozen times now, but we don’t mention it, and I know he’s matched with some of his other friends. He’ll message me almost everyday, about little things like his cat or asking for help with college work, or gossip, or something bad that happened to him. He will also try drag out the conversation as much as possible. Continue reading

“I’m bored with my relationship, but isn’t that normal?”

Me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year-and-a-half, and have been living together for eight months. When we moved in, we fought a lot.

Even though we have resolved those issues, i have thoughts of being with different people, fantasizing what it might be like. I read that its normal to be attracted to other people while committed, but I almost have a feeling of dissatisfaction, or boredom.

Continue reading

Why won’t he initiate anything????

Otherwise happily married for 23 years. Have talked at length and repeatedly about his lack of initiation. He doesn’t initiate sex, touch, conversation, time together, or anything else. If I don’t initiate it, it doesn’t happen. And it hurts. I need to feel wanted too. I have never rejected him. The only plans he makes are when his friends or family call. Then I’m invited to tag along. And that hurts too. I told him I’m exhausted. I’ve been dealing with some major physical and mental health challenges, but getting through them. I just don’t have the energy to be the only one making an effort to stay connected to my husband. So I outright asked him to do the initiating for the next few weeks. That was 2 months ago. He’s initiated sex once, and pretty much nothing else. Beyond frustrated and incredibly hurt. Any advice would be much appreciated. This comes up every couple of months. The same issue. Nothing changes. Every other area is pretty solid and I know I’m very lucky. I’m just really, really hurt that in 23 years, he’s planned ONE weekend for us. At his buddy’s urging, for our 20th anniversary. I don’t need hearts and flowers every day. I’m not a romantic. I’m not needy and don’t need a lot of romance. I just need to feel like he WANTS to make an effort to make me feel loved. Any ideas? Suggestions? Advice?