My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 years now. He dated a girl we’ll call her…..”L”…….about 2 years before me. Bf and L dated for only a year. I found out he was still friends with her on social media accounts, no big deal, I’m not THAT jealous.
Then one day I see her name pop up on his screen notifications, she snap chatted him. I get weirded out, ask if they’re still in touch (to my knowledge they weren’t). He says not really. So I snoop later on (bad I know) and find they’ve been snap chatting each other back and forth. He says they were just pics of his dog. My bf and L got this dog together when he was a puppy, but I’ve spent more time living with the dog than she has. Well, bf says L comes by about once a year and takes the dog for a day or two when she’s in town. He expects me to be fine with this saying she was his original “mom”.
I’m annoyed, say he’s more my dog than hers, and I’m not ok with this. He gets mad, I ask him to stop contact with her, it’s weird and inappropriate in my eyes. He says no without hesitation. Says she’s really nice and I’d like her if I met her and I just don’t understand that she’s not a threat. Well Mr. Hypocrite gets mad if a guy so much as likes a photo of mine. I keep my jealousy in check for everything besides exes. If they’re an ex, it’s for a reason, I do not see what the need for continued contact is. Am I being overly jealous? Am I crazy or is this shady?
2 thoughts on ““Am I jealous or is he being shady?””
I think you need couples counseling and that you are insecure. Nothing strangers over the internet can do to help you with your insecurity. You need a professional. If you still feel he’s shady after that then you need to break up, because you won’t ever trust him.
You do know the first thing that abusive people do is try to separate people from friends and family. If you can’t trust him for one day with what is also HIS dog, then how can I convince you that you can trust him at all? He obviously doesn’t trust you either. The Facebook liking thing is just dramatastic and makes me think you are both young, niece and not ready for a committed relationship.
Honestly it sounds like to need t take another look at the relationship with a profesional but also at yourself. Regardless if you suspected cheating or not, invading someone’s privacy like that and kind of brushing it of in this description does not sound good. All conflicts in a good relationship can be solved via conversation, you just need to learn how to converse the right way (without shouting matches and finger pointing I mean). A therapist can help with that. Because if your solution to a problem is to seceretly check someones personal converstation, you’re going to get a lot more relationships jist like this one.
Don’t get me wrong. I understand why you did it. Most people would have done the same. Bit it can be solved better, more mature and with better results in the future. I am not sure if it should be with him, but again, a therapist might help out.