“Is he shy or just not into me?”

A friend of a work colleague asked me out for coffee after we spent an evening chatting on a work night out. We knew of each other before the night out but had never really chatted before. They’re older than me, but I know that they have a thing for younger women (this guy has a reputation for messaging women at night, randomly, nothing too creepy but still – not great!)

I went for the coffee and we (I think) had a great time. Chatted naturally and whilst the date ended with no physical contact (not even a hug,) he text me that evening to say it was good to catch up. I’ve text him since with a tiny bit of small talk but he hasn’t asked me out again. He hasn’t been creepy or inappropriate. Given his reputation I am surprised he’s not being more forthcoming… Am I being stupid why hasn’t asked me out again? His friend (my work colleague who doesn’t know about our coffee date) told me he was single, shy, and a really nice guy and I do get that vibe from him. Is he shy and waiting for me to ask him out? Or – just not that into me?!

His girlfriend doesn’t know about his gay sex”

I became friends with this guy who is significantly younger than me (he’s 25). I mention his age because I do feel somewhat maternal towards him. He’s in a swinging relationship and very open about his sex life with me. He’s also openly bisexual.

Recently he’s been having a LOT of unprotected man on man anal sex (receiving). As a friend, I told him I was worried and even asked if he was on Prep. (He isn’t. ) I also notice he’s lying a lot to me lately. (He’s very bad at it, lol). He’s also put on a significant amount of weight in the last 3 months. I feel like he’s in a very self destructive state. Continue reading

“Is this a friends-with-benefits situation?”

I have slept with a guy twice, the first time was just a casual thing. I am pretty sure I didn’t hear much from him after that, apart from the odd text here and there, nothing serious, but then he invited me to go away for the weekend with him and his family. I am friends with his sisters and have known them for a long time, so I went.

We shared a cabin and we slept together again. We had conversations that were on a normal level, and some that were on a deeper level. Nothing had been discussed before about what it is, or where it’s going. We get along well and enjoy each other’s company, which he expressed while we were away. Continue reading

“My friend confessed his love for me”

About two years ago, I met this wonderful girl a few states over. It was incredible. We have the same taste in music, movies, shows, plays, and we work so well with each other. We even started saying we loved each other before we started dating. It took a while, though, quite a few in-person visits, before we actually became a couple. Most of my friends were happy for me, except one. He just seemed neutral about it, which I brushed off as jealousy (since he hadn’t been in a relationship yet) or the fact that he still had some hangups about lgbtqia+ relationships, which I can understand to a point. Continue reading

“Should I let the crush run its course?”

My husband has recently become friends with a woman that he met while on a trip. She is also friends with many of our mutual friends and came to visit. Apparently they stayed up very late one night talking.

He hasn’t told me about it. Also I’ve discovered some flirty messages between them. He told her she was beautiful and he misses her. I’m not terribly worried because she’s not around here right now. But I know she plans on visiting again. Should I let the crush run its course?

“Strangers always think we’re dating”

I met this guy, we’ll call him Jason, about a year and a half ago. We hit it off immediately, and I had a crush on him since day one. My attraction was pretty apparent, but he always made it a point, in an indirect way, to tell me what his type was (which is the opposite or me), which led me to believe he was just putting me in the friend zone.

My friends would say he was a flirt, but I just took it as him being friendly, since he didn’t want “anything more.” So after that point we would hang out periodically just as friends, nothing more. When we hang out though, it is always a good time, and for long periods of time. He is the first close gay friend I’ve had, who’ve I’ve actually been able to talk to and share pretty much everything with.

Fast forward some time, we hang out, we get closer, and anytime there is any issue, he immediately wants to talk about it, very openly and wants to discuss feelings and resolve it. In my life I haven’t had many people, who I can talk to like this. Continue reading

“Does this guy have feelings for me or not?”

Me and this guy have been friends for 2-3 years and last year I admitted to him that I had a crush on him. He said that he couldn’t be with me, because he was going to be in a relationship soon with another girl.

We stayed friends but not close. But the thing is that he never said that he does not have feelings for me but he always wants to be close to me, he stares at me a lot (like in every class), he’s always the one who wants to start a conversation with me, I’ve noticed that when people are talking to him they always look at me. Continue reading

“I like a girl, but she’s not ready for a relationship”

I have a friend who I have recently really started to like. I have been fighting it for quite some time now. However, I have told her that I like her and she has also told me that she likes me a lot. She will not let herself get into a relationship. She has told me she has this thing, where she requires physical aspects of a relationship, like hugs, cuddling, and kisses, but can’t do a relationship because she will just hurt people.

The part that is hard to swallow is that she can’t pursue someone she really likes, but can have physical relations with basically anyone, just because she needs it. Part of me tells me to just walk away, but I just can’t. She is perfect and there is no one out there like her. Some days I wish I had never even met her because then I could sleep at night. What do I do? Wait until she’s ready? Forget her all together and ruin the friendship? Stay friends and endure pain every time we talk or see each other? Someone please give me some insight…

“I don’t know if I should talk to him about his alcoholism”

I’ve been talking to this guy for a couple of months now. We’re pretty close and both of us have made it clear that we have feelings for each other. It just so happened that in the beginning of us getting to know each other, he had a sort-of/kind-of girlfriend (basically she really liked him and he felt obligated to stay with her and it was super weird.)

They recently ended things and we’ve gotten much closer. While we’re still friends we talk about dating a lot. Well, while at a Basketball tournament, he was caught with a group of our mutual friends drinking in their hotel room and he apparently was the one who somehow got a hold of the beer. He was asked to leave the tournament early and his mom had to drive four hours there and back to get him. (I only know because one of my best friends’ mom told me, not knowing that me and this guy are really close.) Continue reading

“We’re getting fed up with her anxiety”

A friend of mine at school has extreme anxiety issues, a crappy home life, and extreme depression. I just met her at the beginning of school last semester, and she is kind of like a little sister to me, but she has been quite an inconvenience lately.

Several times in the last few months, I have had to drop what I was doing and go to her to make sure she is okay. In addition to that, really weird things set her off — things that we can’t just tell people not to say. The rest of our friends are also getting fed up with it. Also, it is getting to the point where it feels like she’s taking advantage of us.

We have all tried to get her to see a counselor (we are all in college, and they offer free counseling services if you need it). Every time that we bring it up, though, she just says back to us, “You guys are all targeting me,” and then gets upset, cries, and does other stuff to try to make us feel guilty, and then storms out. Continue reading