His girlfriend doesn’t know about his gay sex”

I became friends with this guy who is significantly younger than me (he’s 25). I mention his age because I do feel somewhat maternal towards him. He’s in a swinging relationship and very open about his sex life with me. He’s also openly bisexual.

Recently he’s been having a LOT of unprotected man on man anal sex (receiving). As a friend, I told him I was worried and even asked if he was on Prep. (He isn’t. ) I also notice he’s lying a lot to me lately. (He’s very bad at it, lol). He’s also put on a significant amount of weight in the last 3 months. I feel like he’s in a very self destructive state. He recently shared with me the “hot” story of his first gay encounter. He was 17, the guy was 49. It felt very predatory to me and broke my mom heart. I didn’t contradict his personal narrative of it, only commented he was really really young.  Oh, and he doesn’t know I know this, but he has an ad up on Craigslist trying to have a dog have sex with him.

I’m not looking to “rescue” him but I AM concerned for his girlfriend’s health. She may be aware and okay with him having sex with guys but does she know he’s doing it unprotected? I know if I ask him, he’ll just lie.  Part of me wants to anonymously contact her because I’d want to be told if I were in her place. And in a way, I feel like telling her may indirectly help him? I feel like he’s spiraling out of control and sometimes you have to hit bottom before you face your demons.

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One thought on “His girlfriend doesn’t know about his gay sex”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Well if I were in her position and didn’t know you well I would think you are trying to start drama. It will finish your relationship with him, because she will tell him and he won’t trust you anymore. However, do you really want to be associated with a man who is possibly into beastiality (illegal!) and possibly giving his girlfriend a std that could kill her (also illegal!)? Gather your evidence before you go if you chose to do this. You may also want to talk to his parents, because if he needs a intervention, his family will be the ones who have to help him, but how I really don’t know. He’s a adult.

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