Tag: family

“Where do I fit in the picture?”

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Family of 4, hubby quit his job 5 years ago to go to school. I have been supporting him emotionally and financially through that time. For 4 years we would talk about our dreams after he graduates, which has helped me get through this long journey.

But the past 6 months he’s been so busy, we haven’t been talking as much. I asked him about jobs he is applying for, and he informs me that all our plans we have been discussing are no longer an option  – and he is applying for jobs in places we have never talked about! I’m hurt, these were our dreams as a family, not just his dreams, so where do I fit in the picture?

“Am I just being insecure?”

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I’ve been in a serious relationship with a man for 7.5 years now. It started out great. We went places, on vacations with our kids together. Then we stopped for money reasons, but we still did all our staycations together with our kids. When vacation time came…we spent it together, whether or not we went anywhere.

BUT… two years ago, during Spring break I was surprised when he took just his daughter away for a few nights without us, because I couldn’t afford to split the cost. I felt ditched, left out, just because we couldn’t afford it. Continue reading →

“I’m stuck between my family and the guy I love”

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I need help. I am stuck between a rock and a wall, between my family and my love. Yesterday, I came home from college, my grandfather, brother and dad helped me move out. When they came to my dorm to take everything out, they met my African-American friend. They had no idea that he was actually my boyfriend, it was very recent and I do not share personal details of my life with my parents.

We moved everything out, came back to my house and while unpacking, jokes were made about me needing a boyfriend. I said that I did not need one because I already had one. Everything was silent, my mom was mad at me for 2 days and on the third day she finally spoke to me. Continue reading →

“Should I call it ‘our car’ or ‘my car’?”

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I’m living with my boyfriend of five years. Three years ago his daughter came to live with us. I’m the breadwinner, making nearly 10 times what he makes in a year, and so I’m heavily supporting our family.

We recently leased a car, when we had otherwise been relying on public transportation, Uber, and cabs. The car is completely in my name and on my credit, though his income was taken into account when we decided we had enough collectively to get a car. My boyfriend does not have a license nor does his under ‘driving-age’ daughter. When I talk about the car, I often call the car “my car” though I drive them wherever they need to go on most occasions. My boyfriend gets really defensive about me calling it “my car”. – which I think is mostly out of habit from when I had a car before, but could also be because I’m the only one that drives it, pays for it, and is ultimately responsible. Should I be more sensitive to this being a family car and calling it “our car”?

“My sister punched me in the head”

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I honestly don’t know what to do. About a month ago, I was punched in the head by my sister, so I moved into my aunt’s place. The problem is, I can get kicked out if anyone finds me living here, and there’s no where else to go.

My mother, who has a drug history and bad habit of running off and meeting men, has offered to buy a place for me and her. But she’s a drunk who loves to argue, so honestly I don’t know what to do. I just don’t want to exist anymore, to be honest.

“I’m depressed with my home situation”

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I am 30 and I have been with my girlfriend who’s 26, for 7 years and we are engaged. We have a 4 year old chocolate labrador and live with my girlfriend’s brother and their mum in her house.

It is very stressful living here, my girlfriend’s mum is very opinionated and suffers from mental instability. She is on antidepressants and is very hot and cold with her emotions. My girlfriend is studying animal conservation at University and her brother works part time at a farm. Their mum works at a school full time. I work full time as a security manager. I know this is all over the place but it’s hard to think what I want to say so thanks for bearing with me.

There are constant arguments over all sorts of things. I argue with my girlfriend’s mum, which I hate, as I’m living under her roof so it feels majorly awkward. My girlfriend’s brother hardly works any hours so gets hardly any money which makes matters worse as he doesn’t pay his way at all. My girlfriend’s mum wants my girlfriend and I to pay for his share of bills,  but I think it’s unfair as he makes no effort to get a full time job. He’s very picky about where he will work. We can’t move out because I am in some debt and can’t afford to rent a house big enough for the 2 of us and our dog.  My girlfriend only gets student loan money which is soon to stop as she graduates this year so she can’t pay towards it.

I get massively depressed and sometimes feel like I need to leave the situation, break off the engagement and get out, but I can’t. We have been together through a lot and I love my girlfriend too much to quit on her. I worry that she will never find a job and will just end up working a crap job and we won’t be able to afford to move out. We want to start our life together and have a family but it really feels like it will never happen. What shall I do?

“I know my family loves me but I feel nothing”

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I need advice because I don’t know how to do this delicately. I am soon to be 18 and without going into specifics,  I plan to move across the country after I graduate High School. In consideration to my mother, I’ve allowed her to still claim that I’m living with her so she receives welfare/death benefits, (my Dad died) even though I moved in with a relative in October.

I am the youngest of a large family but I am totally uninterested in human relationships on a personal level. I can be social and I’m very polite in my interactions but I secretly loathe the necessity. I am a straight A student with skills/love in the arts. I plan work under the table in my relative’s small business, part time, until my graduation but after that I want to cut ties. Now I know from an outside view this is a heartless act – the point is I don’t care. But if there are any mothers or families who’ve experienced a relative cutting ties, I’d be curious how it impacted you. I told my mom I’m leaving but I haven’t said where and I’m not sure if it’s kinder to maintain the facade with other relatives who wish to see me. As I’ve said I can be charming – I know my family loves me but I feel nothing.

“When will I meet my boyfriend’s family?”

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So I’ve been officially dating my boyfriend for almost a year. I’ve known him much longer, but due to complications I’ve never met his family. Nor has he met mine despite me offering. When is the appropriate time for this? I’m at a point where I’d rather just get it over and done with. I’ve hinted at getting it over with, because it is something that’s giving me quite some anxiety, but then it’s always just “it’ll come.” At this point I’m even starting to doubt whether they are aware of our relationship or not. What am I to do?

“Confused which guy I love”

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Oh boy, do I need your help. I split with an amazing guy 6 years ago. We connected so well and I trusted him endlessly, but he always felt a bit far away and had a gaming addiction (which he’s since resolved). I had an internship opportunity in Africa and had to decide whether to keep it short and come back to him, or end our relationship and be open to jobs there. So I laid out 2 things I needed from him – stop gaming so much and be a bit more sexually adventurous – but he said he couldn’t do those things. So I ended it.

Forward 6 years. Work, and the decision I want a family, landed me on the other side of North America from my ex. I hadn’t met anyone and kept thinking about him. I wrote him a long letter, and we talked so openly about what happened. I learned that during that time he was failing school, and actually dropped out, adding 2 years to his education when we split. He couldn’t give me what I needed, because he was losing himself. He would love to explore us, but right then he was seeing an old ex who was going through a lot (alcoholism), and while he doubted it’d last, he had to let it take its course. Continue reading →

“I love him but his family hates me”

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I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years, and we have a 6 month old son together. But lately it feels like I have to constantly remind myself why I love him. His family hates me, and makes me miserable almost every day of my life, and it’s been this way for the last three years.

Every time his mom or sister calls, I get a pit in my stomach wondering what they are going to say, and my anxiety goes through the roof when we go to visit his grandparents. I just don’t think a relationship should be this way. I have tried talking to him about it again and again but nothing changes and we just end up fighting. Every day I wonder what my life would have been like if I chose someone else, and I just don’t know what to do anymore. I love him, I do but I’m starting to wonder if it’s even worth it at this point?