I need help. I am stuck between a rock and a wall, between my family and my love. Yesterday, I came home from college, my grandfather, brother and dad helped me move out. When they came to my dorm to take everything out, they met my African-American friend. They had no idea that he was actually my boyfriend, it was very recent and I do not share personal details of my life with my parents.
We moved everything out, came back to my house and while unpacking, jokes were made about me needing a boyfriend. I said that I did not need one because I already had one. Everything was silent, my mom was mad at me for 2 days and on the third day she finally spoke to me. She brought me in the kitchen and said
“I just want to give you a heads up, your grandfather does not approve”
I said, “of what?”
“of your boyfriend, he claims that he will be lecturing you and there is a good chance he will not speak to you.”
Mind you, my grandfather has been a huge part of my life. He is the man I could always go to, he always had quarters for me to wash my clothes and always made sure I fed well in college. When I was little, he would pick me up from daycare and play with me for hours. So, imagine how I felt, knowing that one of the most important men in my life, was in his exact words disappointed and hurt by me. My grandfather then went to his sister and asked what he should do about his feelings, she told him to talk to me because she felt the same way as him.
After trying to deal with this, I have no idea what to do? I know he says he is hurt and disappointed, but why? I am confused and hurt as well, I need advice? How do I go about this conversation? The boy I am dating is amazing! He is a bio/chemistry major and has the most amazing family (dad is a veteran, mom is a lawyer), he is kind, smart, sweet, on the football team and he makes sure I know I am appreciated. I don’t know what to do, please help because I love this boy and can’t lose him, but I feel the same way about my grandfather. Also, keep in mind, I don’t know if anyone else in my family feels the same way? My friends all love him, and mom, dad, and brother are supportive but as for everyone else, I just don’t know?