“Why won’t he admit he has a girlfriend?”

I met him in one of my college classes. We studied together, and the last month of class it was obvious he liked me. At one point we had a conversation where he mentioned his “ex.” We planned to hangout after our final, but the night we were all going to go out (our group of classmates), he never showed up. We never talked again after that. It drove me insane– he had easily become one of my favorite people. I did some snooping and it turned out his “ex” was his current girl. I was so disappointed but dropped it. He must be loyal to her, and I’m no home wrecker.  Continue reading

“My mom is holding me back”

I am a mother to an infant and had her as a single woman. I moved back to my mom’s, mainly to help her as well. My mom is disabled and needed some help, including financially. I had given up on ever dating another man, as it’s not easy for me to meet others considering how busy I am.

However, that has changed and I have met someone. I knew him from my last job as he worked for a company that mine dealt with. Nothing ever happened during that time, we had never even met in person. He has recently reconnected with me and we hit it off! He is literally the man of my dreams. My mom has always told me that she doesn’t want to hold me back from happiness yet gets upset when I go on a date with this man. Continue reading

“My girlfriend never mentioned me to her mate”

He’s frustrated that his girlfriend hasn’t mentioned him to her friend. She thinks he needs to back off, and it’s just a trust issue on his end. What do you think?

Pete says:

We’ve been seeing each other intensely for six months. We’re in love, but she admittedly is a private person on the whole.

We went on a double date with her best mate a few weeks ago. It went well, I thought. My girlfriend had told me previously that she’d told her friend about me, and I saw nothing to disbelieve that.

Yesterday she opened a text from her mate saying “how are you” etc., but within the text, it said, “how’s things on the man front?” I found this odd and disrespectful to me and our relationship. I asked my girlfriend to say that WE were great. My girlfriend agreed it was odd, as she’d given her no reason to think she was anything other than with me. She refused to acknowledge that wording in her reply and didn’t even mention me or us. This has knocked me a bit.

H. says:

I agree with everything above and did think it was an odd thing to put, but I decided to dismiss it as nonsense. Secondly, it got my back up that he told me how I should reply. I’ll speak to her face to face about it. I think it’s a trust issue that he wanted to see it in black and white.

“Am I being unreasonable about this guy?”

This is a long post, but it’s a long story.

I recently moved back to my hometown after a few years. I also started talking to my ex boyfriend and after a lot of misunderstanding had reached a happy plateau of agreeing to hang out occasionally and as he put it ‘get to know’ one another again. Parallel to this he also in love with a girl at his work who doesn’t seem to reciprocate his feeling and has heavily put him into the friend zone. So I assumed it was safe to build a friendship.  Continue reading

“Shall I put up with his small penis and wait for the money?”

I have been dating David for almost 5 years. We got engaged and have been living together, in my home, for the last almost 3 years. David is a great guy. He makes good money, he buys me gifts, couldn’t love me more, but he shows me no physical affection.

He has a small penis and we have never actually been able to have real sex, so about once a year he gets drunk and we fool around. We never even shared a bed until recently. We hardly speak and never touch more than a quick kiss. David is coming into a VERY large amount of money soon. I love him but I’m no longer IN love with him. I don’t know if the promise of wealth is worth the wait. Help!!

 

“What happened to the chemistry we had?”

I come from a fairly conservative household. I met “M” on POF and quickly discovered we had ties. Since I lived in an area where there were a lot of us of the same culture, his family and my family had a distant friendship.

He said he was looking for marriage, as was I. We hit it off and started speaking on Whatsapp. Soon after he began to tell me how God answered his prayers sending me, how we meshed so well and how he could not wait to take me home. Continue reading

“Is she reluctant and distant?”

I’ve been dating this girl for a little longer than 2 weeks, talking for almost a month. I’m 23, she’s 20. We’re both emotionally scarred from previous relationships and she has admitted that she’s terrified of commitment.

We hit it off strong, spending almost every night together, simple casual netflix dates, nothing special. Then I talked about some sensitive subjects and she’s grown distant with me. We haven’t seen each other in over a week but she’s been, what seems to be, reluctantly texting me. Her entire demeanor over text has changed from happy and interested, to what I can only interpret as obligatory replies and short.

I realize it’s a short term relationship and I shouldn’t have invested myself so deeply into it so soon but she’s special. I really can’t figure out why, but I can’t get her off my mind. I need some help.

“Do I stick it out, or give up on my current relationship?”

When we first talked about dating, she promised an honest and open relationship in the sense of communication.

In the time we’ve dated, communication hasn’t gotten any better and is absolutely terrible compared to before. I’ve gotten cheated on, she lies consistently, still talks with the men she flirts with and is still incredibly irresponsible. She also claims to have cheated on a guy simply because she didn’t screw or see him for two weeks. I won’t be able to see her for a while so I’m concerned.

She has plenty of great qualities and I am madly in love with her,  but I can’t trust her to save my life. How can I resolve this? We get along great, and have awesome chemistry.

She has PTSD related issues, so I can’t approach these issues directly without her shutting down and going dead silent for two days. How can I resolve this?

“Do I confront him and risk losing him?”

I met this guy on a dating app (we’re both guys) and at first I thought we were just in it for the sex, but then he started getting sweet on me: hanging out for more than sex, cooking me meals, Netflix and chill, spending every day after classes (we’re both in university) together. We basically became a couple in all but name.

We had a row and he made it clear that he doesn’t like me ‘that way’, but we still continue as if nothing changed. We also made it clear that we were just friends, despite everything we did together, and so we began seeing other guys on the side. However, this has led to both of us fighting even more.

He’s said over and over that he likes me as a friend, and he’s limited our sexual contact which I’ve respected, but we are still very intimate physically and spend every night together (just no sex). We practically live together. One night, I came home, not completely sober, and he kissed me, despite having banned it previously.

I get the sense that perhaps he isn’t ready to face his feelings for me, but I feel that if I confront him about this I might lose him. What should I do?

“I love him but should I move on?”

I have been dating this guy for about 6 months maybe. He’s amazing, sweet, funny, smart, but a little selfish since he was the baby of the family. And he sometimes acts childish beyond how most guys act. And we have been on a “break” for about 4 months now (10 months in total) so I can work on my social anxiety without him having to feel responsible for me. We are basically best friends, we have sex and hang out, but we aren’t “together” technically. We are exclusive as well.  Continue reading