“I am tired if being married to him”

I am a married mom of a 17 month old. My husband is 22 years older than me. (Yes, judge if you want. *rolls eyes)  In the beginning of our relationship, he lied about his past. I had to figure out his back story by myself.

Then he finally admitted everything. Like the fact that he owes child support arrears. I am the only one who works. I took out $100 so him and my son could eat for the week. Come to find out, he gradually took out the only other $100 left in the account. He claims he spent it just on food. But I know it’s a lie. Anyway, the whole situation is a long story. But I am tired if being married to him. I just don’t know where to turn to. I have no family or friends. I’m scared to go to a shelter because I don’t trust anyone watching my child. Any suggestions?

“I love him but he’s terrible in bed”

I waited until I was married to have sex. I loved him, for better or worse for 10 years. He was terrible in bed. He hurt me. If I tried to give him suggestions in bed, he’d get mad and it would end in a fight. Sex always became a source of tension. I didn’t know any better and thought this is what sex was.

After a decade of fighting, we planned a divorce, I started seeing someone else and had sex with a stranger for the first time. It was earth-shatteringly good. Exactly what I imagined sex would be like and more.

But I reconciled with my husband because I realized I loved him. Problem is, he is still terrible in bed and I don’t know what to do now that I know it’s him, and not sex in general. I love him, he’s a great father to my kids, but sex is important. Do I destroy it all for good sex? Live without sex? Cheat? Help me!

“My boyfriend is worried about our future”

My boyfriend of 3 years told me about 2 months ago that he wasn’t sure what our future could be long term, and insinuated that he didn’t want to marry me or have kids, or at least wasn’t sure he would want to. Ever since, we’ve been getting into stupid fights which is infuriating, because we basically never fought before this, and I don’t want to have to deal with this issue now.

I’m 23: at what point do you have decide if marriage/no marriage is a deal breaker for you if you love the one you’re with? I picture any and all kinds of futures with him, but those possibilities are starting to narrow as he drifts away from me. I should also mention that he’s kind of going through a quarter-life crisis right now (he’s 26), so with him being down on himself and unsure of his own future, I don’t know if I should take every single thing he says seriously. What if this is just a passing mood for him and I miss out on spending more time with the love of my life? I don’t want to break up with him period, but I especially don’t want to break up with him over this. Help? What would you do?

“My mom is holding me back”

I am a mother to an infant and had her as a single woman. I moved back to my mom’s, mainly to help her as well. My mom is disabled and needed some help, including financially. I had given up on ever dating another man, as it’s not easy for me to meet others considering how busy I am.

However, that has changed and I have met someone. I knew him from my last job as he worked for a company that mine dealt with. Nothing ever happened during that time, we had never even met in person. He has recently reconnected with me and we hit it off! He is literally the man of my dreams. My mom has always told me that she doesn’t want to hold me back from happiness yet gets upset when I go on a date with this man. Continue reading

“I’m disturbed after discovering my husband’s social media accounts”

My  husband and I have been married for 6 years through arranged marriage. We have a son (5) and a daughter (2). He was never on Facebook, whereas I have been for some years now. He never seemed inclined and I didn’t fuss over it. However, a few months back out of curiosity I searched his name on FB and realised he had opened an account for more than a year.

When I asked him, he shrugged off stating he never really used it and had opened one on insistence of his colleagues and to connect with friends from his days abroad. When I asked him why hadn’t he added me? He just avoided it saying he never uses it. Nevertheless, I added him and though he seemed reluctant, he eventually accepted it. I checked his account and indeed most people on his friends list were his colleagues from work and few old friends. He had a picture from his late 20s as his profile picture (he’s 40 now). He hadn’t filled out any details and he hadn’t put a single picture of us or our kids. I was not too happy but I thought he wanted to keep things private and professional and let it be.
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“Do I give her a heads up about the abuse?”

My sister in law was inappropriately touched by her uncle when she was a pre-teen. He spent a few months in jail and was registered on the local sex offenders’ registry for a short time. I do not know details of the abuse.

Some years ago he got married to a woman who has 2 kids, a boy and a girl. I don’t know if she’s aware of the abuse. I don’t feel as though I should be the one to tell her, but now that her daughter is getting to be the same age my sister in law was when she was touched, I’m becoming very concerned. I do not want to damage their marriage if he’s truly changed, but can they truly change? She may already know. I would hope my mother in law would have talked to the wife as one mom to another about her marrying a possible pedophile, but I do not know. It is my mother in law’s brother and perhaps she would just want to see him happy.

I considered writing an anonymous note to the wife to give her a heads up in case she isn’t aware, but don’t want to overstep my bounds. Then again, when the safety of a child is in question, doesn’t it become everyone’s responsibility?

“I feel completely disrespected and betrayed by him”

My husband and I have been together for 7 years, married for 3. I have 2 children from a previous marriage and he and my children bonded quickly and the family dynamic between the 4 of us felt effortless and we were all happy.

Since we’ve been married though, I have found text messages between him and 3 different girls. I tried to improve myself to see if he would stop, I thought it was something I was doing to push him away but then I found out he was saying awful things about me and my kids to a girl while he was telling me how much he loved me. Continue reading

“My husband is an addict and needs help”

I don’t know whether to stay or leave……my husband just lost his job, after being there a little over a year. It’s the longest job he’s held since we’ve been married (10 years almost). He lost it because he failed a ua (meth).

I recently found out he was using and he promised to stop. He has now, for maybe a week, so I’m not holding my breath that he’s done for good. This isn’t the first time he’s battled an addiction either. He’s gambled thousands of dollars, clearing our bank account and right before Christmas.

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“He has more of a relationship with his ex than with me”

My fiancé has this ex whom he has two kids with, and no matter how horrible she is to him it’s like he can’t leave her alone.

He tells her first about things in his life where I get to find out later. He’s quick to jump and run for whatever she wants and needs. He claims he isn’t in love with her and he doesn’t want to be with her. Says he loves me and wants a future with me, but he won’t let her go…it’s an everyday battle. She always comes first no matter what. I’ve said how it bothers me and he just tells me I’m being insecure. So am I just being insecure?

“Am I just being insecure?”

I’ve been in a serious relationship with a man for 7.5 years now. It started out great. We went places, on vacations with our kids together. Then we stopped for money reasons, but we still did all our staycations together with our kids. When vacation time came…we spent it together, whether or not we went anywhere.

BUT… two years ago, during Spring break I was surprised when he took just his daughter away for a few nights without us, because I couldn’t afford to split the cost. I felt ditched, left out, just because we couldn’t afford it. Continue reading