“I need to know for sure if he likes me or not”

My male best friend just left for bootcamp for the marines. I think I’ve fallen for him though. I care for him so much I would honestly take a bullet for him, and I wouldn’t do that for just anyone. He’s the most loyal and caring person I know, and we all know how hard it is to find someone like that these days.

Whenever I was upset and told him I needed a hug, even if it was midnight, he would actually drive over just to give me a hug and make me feel better. He had also told me how, if he survives the marines, he would like to settle down and start a family. And I’m actually willing to wait for him, no matter how hard it might get. His guy best friend, we’ll call him C, has been trying to get us to date as well. C asked my best friend if he would date me, and I tried getting C to tell me what my best friend said, but he just replied with “Bro Code” and left it at that.

My best friend has done so much for me, and has always been there for me, whenever we got food he would never let me pay, he always helped me get in shape, whenever I asked for anything, he would get it for me, but I just need to know for sure if he likes me or not; if he doesn’t, then at least I could have the closure to move on and find someone else over time, while keeping our friendship intact. I would do anything for him, but would he do the same for me? Please help me.

“I don’t know if she is there for me or not?”

I have this friend who I’ve known since first grade. At first we weren’t that close but since I started losing people left and right, she’s been all I’ve had and I love her like a sister and appreciate her being there through everything.

As the years have gone on, I’ve noticed a change. It’s weird because it’s never a constant thing, it’s always changing, but basically she goes through these phases where one minute I’m her bestie then the next she appears to act like I’m an annoyance that she has to keep up with. Continue reading

“My best friend doesn’t know my real identity”

So, I’ve known my best friend for two years now. I’m closer to him than I’ve ever been with anyone and he’s extremely important to me.

Two years ago when I met him I was using an alias to hide my real identity online, as I really don’t want people who know me irl to find me on my socials. I created a whole fake identity. Nationality, name, etc.

Now, I’m stuck in the lie. I’m so afraid I’ll lose him if I tell him I’ve been lying this long, but as someone who knows more about me than anyone else, I feel like he should at least know who I really am. Should I tell him? How should I go about it?

“What’s wrong with me?”

My best friend left for bootcamp for the marines about a week ago, and ever since then, I’ve been acting weird, both physically and emotionally. I can’t sleep, and when I do, it’s always nightmares about him dying on the battlefield.

I can’t eat, just thinking of food makes me sick to my stomach. I barely talk to any of my friends, and I’ve started to isolate myself from everyone. He’s all I think about day and night and I’ve ended up crying every night because I’m scared for him. But he’s my best friend, why am I acting this way?

“I’m in love with my best friend”

I’m in love with my best friend who is a girl. I am male but gay, (or bi I guess) and I have feelings for her. She is incredibly sweet and pretty and nice, but is currently in a relationship with someone who has hurt her in the past.

It is still a strong relationship, but I am worried about her potential, as well as my feelings towards her. I think that if I told her we would still be friends, seeing as we’ve talked about living together and things like that, but I don’t want to do it while she’s in a relationship. The guy she is in a relationship with is also a good friend of mine.

“Is my friend racist?”

I have a friend who makes racist jokes towards me. I am half Asian/half white and one of my friends makes offensive Asian jokes and it can be quite hurtful. They don’t do it on purpose to upset me, but I’m pretty sick of it and wish they’d stop.

Should I speak to them about it or just cut them out? Are they a real friend if they say things like that to me?

“I love him but don’t see a future”

I think loneliness has been accepting myself to get trapped in an unhappy relationship for years. I know I have the will power, but the fear of the unknown is really scary.. I have been in this relationship for three years. Wow.. I cant believe it’s only been three years because looking back, it feels like it’s been eternity. Him and I began as best friends and fell in love.

My boyfriend is a nice guy. He is loyal. He is smart. He is generous and also very easy going. These are qualities that I personally wished I possessed so I have always admired and appreciated the way his way of life brought me some zen.

However, as time went on, I realized that his easy-goingness really came from his lack of engagement to anything. He could not get anything done. Or he could not even start because he is “too afraid of failing”. He always pushes things to the last minute which always ends up stressing both of us out. I am not a planner. I am a Sagittarius for crying out loud. I like adventures and spontaneity, however, I saw myself gradually turning into a mom figure. Guiding him through very simple procedures of life, making sure to keep him motivated, making sure he follows through with his plans. It has become so exhausting, dragging him along to get things done.
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“Does my friend need professional help?”

One of my best friends is super depressed and I don’t know how to help. He is pretty good at masking it around people, but I can tell. A few years back he started dating his old high school crush and even proposed and she said yes.

Well, shortly after she broke off the engagement, and for whatever reason he has it stuck in his head that she was the only girl in the world for him. Now almost 2 years later he is still really bad off. He got really blackout drunk on his birthday last year and let a lot of his bottled up emotions spill out and even talked about how he has considered suicide.

Since then he has not drank but he did take up 420 which in retrospect is alright since it is an anti-depressant. I have talked to him about it and expressed my concerns but he is very adamant about not wanting “professional” help and not wanting to be put on “chemicals” (medication). He is my friend and I love him but it hurts to see him in pain and not doing anything to seek help. I want to do more but according to professionals if someone is refusing help don’t push it because it can make it worse. So I just don’t know what to do.

“My best friend and I have feelings for the same guy”

I think I’m starting to have feelings for a guy I’ve been friends with for a while. I suppose it was inevitable; he’s the type of person who is playful and easy to talk to. I genuinely love spending time with him.

Here lies the problem. My best friend has had feelings for him for the past 2 years. I know, at first glance it sounds like a cliche romance plot. But it isn’t a joke anymore whenever I have to listen to her talking about how amazing, kind, beautiful he is and having to say things like, “you’d be perfect for each other”.

I tried to repress my feelings at first, knowing it would end up like this. But I can’t stay away, no matter how hard I try to keep him at arms length. His personality just draws me in. Thankfully I only see him a few times a week since we have different classes, but I know that if I allow myself to get closer, I will fall for him.

I’m beginning to get too nervous to talk to him, because I know she is around somewhere and will start to suspect something is going on if she sees us laughing and joking around like children, which is what our conversations inevitably end in.

I don’t know what to do. Does it make me a terrible person? And before you go to answer that question with “no”, think about the fact that I might actually have a chance with him if I tried (that’s what his friends have hinted at) and I would be taking away her dream guy. Advice would be greatly appreciated.

(P.s. Sorry for the length. This is the first time I’ve opened up about this so it’s more of a rant :-))

“I want to date my best friend’s ex”

My best friend and his girlfriend broke up. His girlfriend went on a mentally unstable bender. I comforted her and kept her safe all day. Thought she was suicidal and had to call an ambulance at one point (misunderstanding, she wasn’t suicidal). So happy she was alive. She said she shouldn’t be alone, came up to mine. We slept together. She stayed the following day and night.

We hung out since. The friend knows everything. She now said she can’t see me because she needs to get her head straight. Run into her and she looks right through me. I am very much in love with her. I know there was something special between us when we were together. I’m thinking of going for one last hurrah and asking her. If she says no I might move away. If she says yes I would happily give up everything I had to be with her. What do you guys think? Help.