“I don’t know if she is there for me or not?”

I have this friend who I’ve known since first grade. At first we weren’t that close but since I started losing people left and right, she’s been all I’ve had and I love her like a sister and appreciate her being there through everything.

As the years have gone on, I’ve noticed a change. It’s weird because it’s never a constant thing, it’s always changing, but basically she goes through these phases where one minute I’m her bestie then the next she appears to act like I’m an annoyance that she has to keep up with. For example, there are times when I come to her with problems that she’s super supportive and is there for me, then other times I get short, half-hearted, responses that sometimes end with “lol” even though what I had just told her was very upsetting to me. I kinda think it’s all in my head but my therapist and even my mom notice this and I can’t understand why she is being that way.

They’ve both given me their reasons as to why they think she’s like that and they are really good reasons but I’m still confused. Maybe if she really is being that way I’m taking it too hard because I’m depressed and she’s literally the only friend I have left? I’m not sure. She started being distant with me just a few days ago and we have barely talked. When she learned I’d been depressed, she made an attempt to check on me but didn’t seem like she really wanted to and almost like she felt obligated to. I don’t know, I just want to know what other people think and if/how they dealt with a similar situation.

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