So about 4-5 months ago, I started dating this guy (I’m in college) and it was great. I ended up falling in love with him and everything was perfect. But then he decided to rush a fraternity, and things started to go badly. He was getting very stressed out and frustrated because of all the pledge stuff he had to do, and he kind of took it out on me. I tried to be there for him and provide whatever support I could because I knew it must’ve been hard, but eventually I started to get too stressed out as well. So I suggested that we take a break until he’s done. He didn’t want to, but I insisted because I thought that it would help us. That was about a month and a half ago, and I honesly want more than anything to be with him. But when we talked a couple of weeks back, he said that he just doesn’t want a relationship right now, he wants to be alone. He swears it’s nothing to do with me and that if he were to be with anyone that it would be me. I asked if we could hang out or get lunch or something, but he said no because he “would get the feels for me again” and he doesn’t want to. I really love him, but would it be crazy for me to wait and see if he comes around or am I wasting my time? There’s a part of me that thinks that one day he’ll change his mind, and he said that if he does he’ll let me know.
Category: Advice Needed
“Boyfriend advice needed asap!”
This may seem stupid, primarily because it is but I don’t know what to do.. Im 19 and have been with my boyfriend, who is 22 for over a year now.. I’ve recently started college.. I’m starting to think he’s not right for me based on the fact that when I entered college I found so many other people that were like the male version of me: all sharing the same intellect and common interests, although I’m not sexually attracted to anyone, they’re all great friends! I don’t know whether I’m overthinking it or not but I can’t help feeling that my boyfriend isn’t the lad I’m gonna marry.. I know I’m young and that shouldn’t even be on my mind! – but I can’t help realising that I feel this is going to end someday.. He’s perfect but even the simple things like the way he’s not interested in the same sport as me is starting to freak me out! I’m not even sure what I’m trying to say but I just want to know am I crazy or am I being rational- is this just a phase I’m in? Or am I too young
“Romantic conundrum”
I’m in a 4 years long relationship with a sweet man who is 4 years younger than me (I’m 28 and he’s 24) but recently, we’ve made new friends, particularly this one guy. I get along famously with him and my boyfriend is ok with it as he’s used to me having male friends (if he wasn’t I don’t think the relationship would have lasted this long) but a few days ago, I started realizing that I care a little too much over my new friend
This new friend is 3 years older than me and, if I’m to be honest, lately the age difference with my boyfriend began bothering me and I’ve been turning more flirtatious with this friend and the more this happens, the more I think about him.
I care for my boyfriend, I always thought we’d spend the several years together (I’m a cynical person so for me to think that most relationships endure through a lifetime it’s difficult, to me it seems like a 1 in a 1000 kind of thing) but this friend causing my resolve to weaver.
The worst part is that I’m afraid of letting my boyfriend go since he’s very unstable emotionally: He’s been a very lonely person all his life and I’m his first girlfriend, he’s absolutely devoted to me, as I was I till now, so I’m afraid of the consequences of me breaking the relationship.
Part of me is scared of what may happen to him if my feelings for this friend grow stronger, but the other just wants to take the leap and I don’t know what to do.
My crush shows interest but says no
I told my crush a month ago that I have feelings for him. He said he did too but didn’t want to act on it because he’s leaving for a different state in 2 months (I’m trying to omit some personal details). We’ve hung out alone at his house three times since then. Each time we cuddled and held hands and flirted with one another. He texts me multiple times every day. We’ve been on spring break for the past week and a half, but in school he would get nervous around me.
I kind of figured that he still likes me to some extent so I asked him to prom. He said he wasn’t sure who he wanted to go with and kind of dodged the question (this was over text).
I find that so confusing because I don’t know anyone else he’d ditch me for- if it were anyone else it would have to be someone he really wants a relationship with and I believe him when he says he doesn’t want a relationship with anyone at this point.
I don’t really know what to do… should I ask him about prom again like a month later? Do you think he’s just worried if we went to prom together we’d be an “item”? Was it just a polite way of saying he’s not interested? Should I just pretend I never asked?
I am angry about my situation with my best friend
One Night Oral
I’m 18. The other day I got a little frisky with one of my friends. It was his first time for everything, even just kissing a girl, but not mine, for the past few days I’ve been feeling really anxious about what happened, I have a constant knot in my stomach and I can sense some feelings towards him. I didn’t want this to happen and he hasn’t text me or anything and I just wanna sort things out. He’s not been in any relationship before and being his friend I know that he gets attached quite easily, I don’t know if that’s going to be the case with me. I can’t tell if I want this to go anywhere either. Are these real feelings or am I just feeling like this because of the intimacy we shared. Please help!
What’s good about a relationship?
Okay, just a disclaimer: I’m not in any way discouraging the prospect of relationships. I’m just curious as to what you all think about them.
Personally, I’ve always been hesitant about them, because the fact is that, when you start a relationship, you’re either serious or you’re not. Either you eventually get married, or you break up. Many people who engage in relationships are too young to consider marriage yet, or are simply searching for a casual relationship. But I just don’t see the point in it – if you know it’s going to be such a short-lived thing, why engage in it knowing it’ll end in a breakup anyway?
I know it sounds like I’m being cynical, but I’m honestly curious. Perhaps I shouldn’t be defining relationships as “labels”, as such, anyway, because what matters in a relationship are the feelings.
Anyway, thanks for reading through all my rambling. Does anybody have any opinions to share on this topic – is it really worthwhile?
Girlfriend advice
Friend is hitting on my girlfriend, but hes a good friend of her, she says that he understands now that shes dating but im still worried, she wont even tell me his name because shes scared ill confront her and ruin her relationship with him… help?
She gives just enough to keep me giving my all
I’ve been dating a lady for 7 months now. We had the initial honeymoon phase for 8/9 weeks. During that same time, she experienced a lot of change in her life other than me. Her work of 14 years became overwhelming and unrewarding forcing her to look for another job. Additionally, her son is graduating HS this year and will move away to college. As a result of all this “change” she admittedly began to withdraw, or as she put it “hit the brakes hard on purpose”. My response was to be gentle and empathetic by just chilling and being there for her. I didn’t push her to make a choice. Since then, we have been on a roller coaster, one week we are close and engaged in our relationship and the next, I hardly even know she’s interested. Unfortunately it’s been the latter more recently. She gives just enough of herself to me to keep me giving 100% of myself to her. I’m at the point where I need more if I’m to continue our relationship, not a lot more but certainly enough to know this is something she wants to pursue. Right now, I just really cannot tell. I’m torn because I know she cannot be expected to read my mind, but I do have a difficult time with addressing this. To me, if her heart were really into our relationship, she would have the desire to be close. Bringing this to her attention will either cause her to engage more or just go our separate ways. If she wants to stay in the relationship, how will I know it’s because she that’s what is in her heart rather than appeasing me to keep me here doing all the things that I do for her, supporting her emotionally and putting forth the effort to make her happy.
Belated thinking of ex/am I just jealous and selfish?
Hello all,
So, about a year ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years as he was not helpful and in fact very self involved after my brother died. For a couple of months after he would message me sporadically to which I would either not reply or be off with him (in my eyes this ‘offness’ was warranted as the messages were very self-involved and about how HE was, when I was dealing with my brothers death). Anyway, he finally got the hint and stopped messaging.
However, for the past couple of months I’ve really missed him and can’t stop thinking about him. Things constantly remind me of things we did/liked/said etc. I’m not naïve and I have realised that this more or less began when he seemed to start seeing someone else. I know I am probably just jealous and just want him to want me instead of her but I am confused and scared that soon I will message him or something, especially if I drink. I cracked a couple of months ago and messaged him with some photos I had of him after getting a roll of film developed. He replied that he didn’t really know what to say and that he wasn’t ready to be friends just yet. I thought that this would placate me (not ready to be friends yet = not over me yet, right?!) but I’m now doubting that reasoning and thinking about it more.
I should probably point out that I currently have a boyfriend who I started seeing a couple of months after breaking up with the ex. I know I sound really jealous, selfish and horrible (and I’m sorry this is so long and rambly) but I think I just wanted to get this out and see what other people say. There is probably a lot more to this but I just can’t think how to put it down in writing. Thanks.
LemonVibe 