Category: Advice Needed

“My boyfriend freaks out and cries all the time”

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I was planning on letting my relationship with my boyfriend (who has anxiety) fizzle out when he goes to uni to avoid as much upset as possible. However, he’s started to mention taking a gap year, which I think is to stay with me, but, I would still break up with him. I don’t feel like relationships are suited for me at this point in my life. I feel way too claustrophobic.

I find it really difficult talking to him about these things because he breaks into tears a lot, and freaks out, whereas, I feel I’m too relaxed, and it makes me feel like a horrible person. Continue reading →

“I’m in love with my friend’s girlfriend”

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I have a really good friend that I met in my medical school days. We texted all the time, would go for dinner every alternate day, go to the movies, talk for hours on phone, study nights together for our final exams, basically all types of friend stuff.

For the last two to three months, I have been developing feelings for her and it literally sucks. I can’t take this friendship to the next level because she has a boyfriend who is also a very good friend of mine.

I decided be distant from her to suppress my feelings. I stopped talking to her and have avoided her on many occasions, but, she is not letting me to do so. She call me every single day for combined studies at her place, and cooks for me. She asks me questions like,  “Why are you are behaving this way?” Continue reading →

“The women I date seem to think I only want a casual hookup”

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Would definitely appreciate any insights you might have on the following dilemma!

As a bit of background, I’m a man in my late twenties, well educated, confident, and an all round good guy. I never had a whole lot of success with women as a younger man, but now that I I’m all grown up, I’ve been rather successful in courting, dating, and romancing women.

I do however have a very specific and seemingly unorthodox problem.

Conventional wisdom might suggest that expressions of physical intimacy are an indicator of a burgeoning relationship. However, on many occasions the more physically intimate I become with a woman I’m dating (over the course of the first few dates), the more reticence/resistance I encounter on subsequent dates when intimating or initiate intimacy.

If I can distill some of the feedback I’ve received from women, I get the impression that the ladies in question might sense a predictable ending to dates, and/or feel that the date was just a perfunctory prequel to intimacy, and/ or seem to be wanting something “more” on dates (whether that is more face time, more fun, or more of a connection, I don’t know), and/or that I just want to “hook up.” Continue reading →

“It’s been three years since our one-night stand, and I still can’t get over her”

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About four years ago, I developed a crush on a coworker. She was perfect to me in every way. She was seeing someone, so we were just good friends. Ten months later, she broke up with her SO and moved back home, five hours away. Another seven months passed, and I missed her so much, that I visited her on her birthday and we ended up having sex. It was the best I have ever had.

After that, we (she) decided we were better off friends. Since then I’ve gotten into a serious relationship and it’s been two years. I love my girlfriend very much and am very happy, but I still think about my coworker, and that night, and I can’t get over those feelings.

We don’t really talk anymore, but I still somehow can’t get over her, even though its been over three years. What do I do?

“I’m in love with my best friend, who lives in New Zealand”

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I live in America and I have a best friend who lives in New Zealand. We have been talking for four years. I am in love with him and he feels the same. I am hesitant to try long distance right now, though, in the past I haven’t been. In the past he was scared, and now its me who is afraid. We have been besties through a lot, so I know our friendship can survive a lot, but I am scared if we broke up we might not be friends, and that would basically be unbearable for me. He does wanna move here, but doesn’t have the money at this point, and it would be a year or more before he did.

I really do love him – he’s great to talk to and gives good advice, and I can tell he really cares about, and loves me. Should I try long distance???

“I’m married, but can’t stop fantasizing about someone else”

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I am married and have never been unfaithful. I love my wife.

I have a friend I have known for years who I cannot get out of my thoughts. I have been drawn to her like a magnet since the day we met. I have never crossed the line with her, but I feel guilt because I have dreamed and fantasized about her. I value our friendship and I don’t understand why she has this effect on me.

Does this make me a bad husband?

“No matter how toxic our fights were, I couldn’t leave”

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For the past two years, I have been with a guy who is 26 years older than me. He owns the business in which I am employed. He is very well known within a 300 mile radius. In the beginning, it was a lot of fun, and traveling, and going out, and a lot of other things. A few months into the relationship, I wanted out, and became suicidal. He just loved me so much and no matter how toxic our fights were I didn’t leave. I ended up moving in with him. He had his house listed for sale before I met him and so we moved to a new house. I tried to find a house that wouldn’t be too much if I finally left.

We settled in and continued to have toxic fights and I have been so unhappy, and yet he just loves me so much and makes sure he reminds me of everything he given me, and how I am who I am because of him. But he doesn’t say it in that way, he’s really good with mind games. When we fight he says the most hurtful things and gets me so upset and worked up that I just beg and plead for him to just walk away and leave me alone for five minutes. But then he just wants to hug me and tell me he loves me and say that I’m his, and we’re fine.

I finally moved out, but because I didn’t want to lose my well paying job that I really enjoyed for the first time in my life. I ended up moving back in with him because I had nowhere to leave my dog when I was at work. Continue reading →

“I don’t think he likes me, but he keeps asking about me”

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I’m a junior in high school (a girl), and I’ve had a crush on this senior boy for around 4 months? Things happened and quite a number of people now know about my crush, and there’s been a lot of teasing going on. He knows about it, but I’m not sure if he thinks it’s a joke or not. He is also quite annoyed by the teasing apparently.

For these past 4 months, this guy hasn’t really cared about me or made any attempt to interact with me. So obviously I resigned to my fate of a one-sided crush. But here is where I get confused. Continue reading →

“He says he likes me, but isn’t good in relationships”

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So, I like this guy whom I’ve been seeing once a week, but we usually only hook up at night  — booty call type of stuff. Some days he gets bothered with my phone blowing up and jokes around saying “my lover is calling” etc. Usually says I lie a lot.

Certain times he made me feel like more than a friend by holding my and hand calling me pet names. He tells me that he likes me, but is not good in relationships. He once said it’s OK for me to like him, just not in that way. Whatever that meant.

Anyway I really like him, but at times he makes me feel bad about myself, or like I’m nothing to him really. I’m confused. What should I do? Help please.

“My wife won’t stop texting her guy friends”

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Should I stay or leave? We’ve been married for five years, dated for seven, have two kids, life great, no problems.

So here it is: my wife has always had guy friends. Before we met, she had slept with a few of them. So, when we started dating, I requested that they keep their distance. Fast forward to a year ago when I picked her up, very drunk, from night out. I found a text on her phone to one of these guys from the past whom she slept with saying “what you at.”

A fight started and she says that she can’t remember why she would text.

Fast forward.

She’s in a new job, and has met friends (guys & girls). She’s friendly with one guy, which is okay, but she wouldn’t stop talking about him every day and about what they got up to, and texting with him constantly. I sat down with her and explained that guy friends are okay, but this guy was getting too close. She said she would back off and respect my boundaries — just talk at work, but stop texting all day. Continue reading →