Should I stay or leave? We’ve been married for five years, dated for seven, have two kids, life great, no problems.
So here it is: my wife has always had guy friends. Before we met, she had slept with a few of them. So, when we started dating, I requested that they keep their distance. Fast forward to a year ago when I picked her up, very drunk, from night out. I found a text on her phone to one of these guys from the past whom she slept with saying “what you at.”
A fight started and she says that she can’t remember why she would text.
She’s in a new job, and has met friends (guys & girls). She’s friendly with one guy, which is okay, but she wouldn’t stop talking about him every day and about what they got up to, and texting with him constantly. I sat down with her and explained that guy friends are okay, but this guy was getting too close. She said she would back off and respect my boundaries — just talk at work, but stop texting all day.
Three nights ago, we were out, and I checked the phone and found she messaged him last week. The text included talking about people at work, and that he was on the toilet, and she said “oh that’s lovely”.
More texts at 1 am, then replies at 6 am and throughout the day. I confronted her, and she said that she didn’t realize I meant NO texting, and that she only texted handful of times and didn’t realize how seriously I felt about it.
There were deleted messages which she says is because of memory space on the phone, which has truth, as I have same problem with my phone. She says she sees him as a brother and that he has a girlfriend.
What should I do? Am I reading too much into this? Has she disrespected me and the boundaries I asked for? I can’t trust her 100%.
2 thoughts on ““My wife won’t stop texting her guy friends””
Frankly I’m worried for her and think you are controlling. Not one word has been about her actually doing anything actually wrong and mostly your insecurities.
“So, when we started dating, I requested that they keep their distance.”
“I sat down with her and explained that guy friends are okay, but this guy was getting too close.”
“Three nights ago, we were out, and I checked the phone …”
Why are you checking her phone?
“Has she disrespected me and the boundaries I asked for?”
Why so many boundaries? Do you trust her? Have you ever trusted her? Has she ever given you a valid reason not to trust her?
“Am I reading too much into this?”
From what you’ve described … yes.
“What should I do?”
I think you need to figure out the answers to my above questions first.