“He says he likes me, but isn’t good in relationships”

So, I like this guy whom I’ve been seeing once a week, but we usually only hook up at night  — booty call type of stuff. Some days he gets bothered with my phone blowing up and jokes around saying “my lover is calling” etc. Usually says I lie a lot.

Certain times he made me feel like more than a friend by holding my and hand calling me pet names. He tells me that he likes me, but is not good in relationships. He once said it’s OK for me to like him, just not in that way. Whatever that meant.

Anyway I really like him, but at times he makes me feel bad about myself, or like I’m nothing to him really. I’m confused. What should I do? Help please.

4 thoughts on ““He says he likes me, but isn’t good in relationships”

  1. Eriqa says:

    Guys who say they aren’t good at relationships are being manipulative. 100% of the time. Saying that is his way of pre-justifying being a douchebag to you. Like “Oh, sorry I hurt your feelings, but I’m not good at this relationship stuff” etc. It’s bullshit. If you ever get mad at him for treating you poorly, he just gets to throw it back in your face like “Well, you knew this about me already.” It’s really unacceptable behavior.

    On top of that, he explicitly told you not to like him (so naturally you can’t help but like him anyway). Wake up. He does not like you back. If he liked you, he’d tell you and/or show you. He’s not doing that. When you like someone, treating them well (or, being good at relationships) comes easy.

    You can probably do better. Get rid of him asap, and don’t let him back into your life when he inevitably comes back for another chance. All he wants is to sleep with you. If that weren’t true, he’d be treating you better already. Don’t fall for it.

  2. Drew says:

    Call me old fashioned, but “I see him once a week…usually at night… Booty call…” doesn’t sound like a relationship to me. It sounds like a series of hook ups. If you want a relationship change the dynamic.
    But as the previous commenter said, if he really liked you he’d already be treating you better. Save yourself some trouble and move on.

  3. Anonymous says:

    He said he’s not good at relationships. You should believe him and move on. He’s too into himself to ever honestly be into you for more than sex.

  4. Max Loesch says:

    Let me get this straight, so he’s not “good at relationships” but still wants to enjoy the benefits of your time and intimacy?

    Right now, he’s able to enjoy your time while putting in the barest effort, and quite frankly, manipulating your feelings for him in order to suit his needs.

    To the contrary, it sounds as though he is a game player and knows exactly what he is doing.

    As bad as this is, it’s only happening because you are allowing it to happen.

    My advice would be to take a firm line with him. Let him know that this behavior is unacceptable. That you both needs to spend quality time together, and that he needs to be ok with not having intimacy on demand.

    If it is business as usual, then you have your answer. The only thing you can do from there is to move on.

    Best of luck,

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