“We don’t want to invite her to the wedding”

I’m maid of honour at a wedding, we have a close-ish group of girl friends who are mostly all invited, except for one, who the bride (and her partner and I agree) don’t really want to invite. She is mostly just in the friendship group because it’s been the same since high school, rather than because we have a lot in common.

She can be very loud and disruptive and frankly won’t make a nice addition for the wedding, and isn’t a good friend of the bride. Anyway, the bride already sent her a save the date, because she was afraid of hurting her feelings, but now is sure she doesn’t want her at the wedding, also swayed by the fact she didn’t realise that most of the rest of the group didn’t care for her much either. Any advice on how to break it to her? Or do we just never send her the invite (feel like that may be hard/ cowardly to do). Or are we being horrible and we should just invite her?

Tldr – how do we not invite one person from the friendship group to a wedding (when she’s already sent congratulatory card / flowers, knows the date etc)

As I’m writing this I realise I sound horrible, but surely if it’s your wedding you should invite whoever tf you want, not just people to save their feelings? She hasn’t been the kindest person in the past, and no one is going to mind if the friendship is broken. But fair enough if you think we sound like big meanies!

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5 thoughts on ““We don’t want to invite her to the wedding”

  1. Anonymous says:

    She’s not in the bridal party but invited to the wedding. Just let her come. And yes, you all sound selfish and mean. The day will not be “perfect.” And guess what your job is at the wedding? Making sure to help the bride and groom get through the day, because this will be the least of your concerns come the day of. All sorts of things you plan won’t pan out, but here’s the thing to remember: at the end of the day they will be just as married as if it did.

    Also, man I’m glad I’m not in your frienemy group. You sound pretentious and nieve.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Man I hate friends who thoughtfully send congratulations and flowers to someone they consider a true friend but is actually a huge jerk. Yes, you all sound mean, callous, inconsiderate, and jerks. But hey, go ahead and tell her so she can be kind and considerate to some nonbridzilla mean girls who think high school clicks are forever. Also, where do YOU get off telling the bride who she can invite and spreading gossip Judgy Mcjudgerson? You think your excrement doesn’t stink? This will come back to bite you in the butt.

  3. Anonymous says:

    No one will be hurt? She’s going to be hurt! She sent flowers and congrats! Good lord child. Invite her to the wedding. The bride is going to be so swamped that day that she may not even recognize the girl is there. After the wedding you will all move on with your lives anyway. Work, kids, sickness, moving all will break up your group. That’s how life works. Don’t be cruel for the sake of being cruel.

  4. Anonymous says:

    There is no such thing as a perfect wedding day. You all have bought into a fallacy. Also, if that’s her attitude now, hope she’s got the divorce lawyer set up for when she breaks up with her husband after he decides he doesn’t want to deal with her high maintenance crew and self when it gets directed at him once all of you are gone.

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