“Why is he going MIA on me?”

I’ve been at this company for a year and worked under the direction of one of the top execs of the company – he’s married. Over the course of a few months, I started to pick up on an attraction from him; long and very intense eye contact, and at other times he cannot make eye contact with me at all. This only ignited a spark in me and suddenly I was paying closer attention. I tried to downplay, tell myself to ignore it all, it is what it is and let it be. 
In our few 1-1s there’s been this almost tangible sexual tension ricocheting off of us and it’s hard to string together a cohesive sentence; he’s lost his train of thought, I have had to look down to stay on point to what I was saying…ugh. Uncomfortable and exhilarating all in one. If he walks into a room I am in, he will ignore everyone else but bid me hello. At one of our company-wide meetings, he was in the front of the large room about to give a presentation and whilst everyone was engaged in conversations waiting for his slides to appear, myself glued to my lap top, I happened to look up at him only to find him fixed on me with a curious smile on his lips. He looked away and back, so I looked away and back, we caught each other looking again…it was as good as confirmation to each other. I walked into a room when he was speaking and he stopped and lost his train of thought. Months later, I turned a corner onto a long hallway that leads to his end of the building and he was on the opposite end some 30 feet away. He stopped in his tracks, did a double take and when he realized I caught him looking, he practically walked into the door. Yikes…riveting and yet no good!

While there has never been any overt flirting (he’s a straight-laced noble kind of guy that I think is in turmoil and confusion), it’s an energetic intense unspoken but we both know what this is, kind of dynamic. But he’s been integral to my professional development; a mentor, a confidant, he really understands me and it is like we are cut from the same cloth. Because of his support, the president of the company knows of me well and requested a 1-1 with me. While not entirely, he’s been a big reason why I am on the list for the next generation leaders. And I love it where I work!

It’s only as of late that there feels like a shift in this dynamic; the official knowing I suppose. I recently requested his advice via email on an internal career shift I am contemplating and for the first time, he’s gone “ghost” on me.

I feel like a liability; even though I have never been anything but professional and even at times shy and awkward. I want to take blame for his being uncomfortable. I feel rejected. Confused. I am suddenly tracing back all our interactions to pinpoint if I did something obviously wrong I was overlooking. At the same time, I don’t want to jeopardize my job, the support I have received from him, and the reputation I have developed there.

What’s going on? Why is he suddenly going MIA on me?

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One thought on ““Why is he going MIA on me?”

  1. Anonymous says:

    It doesn’t matter why he’s MIA. He’s a married man. You risk losing your good name, credit and job for interacting with him. This is borderline obsessive if not outright obsessive. Focus on your work and leave work at work and sex in your private life. I think you should take some time off after work in fact, to date people WHO ARE NOT ALREADY MARRIED.

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