I’m completely lost. I don’t know what to do. I feel like my life is a never ending spiral of failures. I’m 16 and I know, “I have my whole life ahead of me”, but do I really? Every single Honors student know what they want to do with their lives, and then there’s me. To be honest, I don’t even think I’ll live past age 20, let alone finish College and University.
My mom hates me. She keeps me as a prisoner in my own house. And that’s not to sound dramatic or anything, I’m actually not allowed to leave the house. I couldn’t even go to my friend’s graduation back in May. She never let me leave the house over my summer break, she doesn’t let me hang out with my friends.
I’m a good girl, good grades, top test scores, AP classes, but none of that means anything apparently. To her, I’m just a sex crazed idiot like “teenagers are supposed to be.” She won’t even let me get a job. And there’s the fact that she constantly cheats on my dad and forces me to keep it a secret (this has been going on since I was about 7.)
I get bullied. Endless racial jokes about me being Mexican, come at about every second. And if it’s not a racist joke, it’s some insult about how I’m a ‘prude.’ It’s gotten to the point that I can hear their words when they’re not around. I feel like the walls around me are quickly closing in and I have nowhere to go. Please, what am I supposed to do?
One thought on ““My life is a mess and I’m completely lost””
Talk to other adults in your family with your mom. They may give you feed back on why she keeps you at home. She may feel you are not ready, because you haven’t shown her that you are. Do you clean the house? Have you applied for jobs and started applying for college scholarships? Those will work in your favor. Will she let you do extra curricular activities like Beta club, Key club, marching band, sports, ect. ALL of those things will look good on a college transcript and get you out of the house.
It’s dangerous for teens to be out and she’s looking out for you. Teen girls are targeted for all sorts of crime. She loves you and doesn’t want to lose you. You’re frustrated and depressed needing some independence however. The fastest way is to show her you are ready by being responsible. Clean the house without being asked. Work a part time job and contribute to the household (I was working two at your age. Dishwashing and modeling. It paid for the duel enrollment college courses I took during high school, plus all my band fees and helped me save for a car.)
Good luck! You can do this!