“My life is a mess and I’m completely lost”

I’m completely lost. I don’t know what to do. I feel like my life is a never ending spiral of failures. I’m 16 and I know, “I have my whole life ahead of me”, but do I really? Every single Honors student know what they want to do with their lives, and then there’s me. To be honest, I don’t even think I’ll live past age 20, let alone finish College and University.

My mom hates me. She keeps me as a prisoner in my own house. And that’s not to sound dramatic or anything, I’m actually not allowed to leave the house. I couldn’t even go to my friend’s graduation back in May. She never let me leave the house over my summer break, she doesn’t let me hang out with my friends.

I’m a good girl, good grades, top test scores, AP classes, but none of that means anything apparently. To her, I’m just a sex crazed idiot like “teenagers are supposed to be.” She won’t even let me get a job. And there’s the fact that she constantly cheats on my dad and forces me to keep it a secret (this has been going on since I was about 7.)

I get bullied. Endless racial jokes about me being Mexican, come at about every second. And if it’s not a racist joke, it’s some insult about how I’m a ‘prude.’ It’s gotten to the point that I can hear their words when they’re not around. I feel like the walls around me are quickly closing in and I have nowhere to go. Please, what am I supposed to do?