“My life is a mess and I’m completely lost”

I’m completely lost. I don’t know what to do. I feel like my life is a never ending spiral of failures. I’m 16 and I know, “I have my whole life ahead of me”, but do I really? Every single Honors student know what they want to do with their lives, and then there’s me. To be honest, I don’t even think I’ll live past age 20, let alone finish College and University.

My mom hates me. She keeps me as a prisoner in my own house. And that’s not to sound dramatic or anything, I’m actually not allowed to leave the house. I couldn’t even go to my friend’s graduation back in May. She never let me leave the house over my summer break, she doesn’t let me hang out with my friends.

I’m a good girl, good grades, top test scores, AP classes, but none of that means anything apparently. To her, I’m just a sex crazed idiot like “teenagers are supposed to be.” She won’t even let me get a job. And there’s the fact that she constantly cheats on my dad and forces me to keep it a secret (this has been going on since I was about 7.)

I get bullied. Endless racial jokes about me being Mexican, come at about every second. And if it’s not a racist joke, it’s some insult about how I’m a ‘prude.’ It’s gotten to the point that I can hear their words when they’re not around. I feel like the walls around me are quickly closing in and I have nowhere to go. Please, what am I supposed to do?

“Do I fix or forget my stuck-in-the-mud boyfriend?”

So, in the nicest way possible, I think I’m dating a loser. I guess I’m the quintessential girl that always dates guys that need fixing, but it’s never intentional. The last guy I dated had suffered emotional / physical abuse and it was complicated, but very passionate and I loved him very much. I kind of walked into a mess on this one. My current bf was still living with his ex’s family when we met, but they had already broken up and he was moving out and back in with his parents before we even got close enough to consider dating, but I didn’t know all this until later.

We were set up, and had two months of mixed signals and odd communication before finally getting together. He was struggling in school and didn’t have many friends because his ex was controlling and also pretty mentally and financially abusive, so he transferred to my university to get back on track with his life. I go to the university he was originally going to go to before his ex convinced him to go to her college , so it felt like he was going full circle. He was passionate and excited and I thought he would adjust quickly and be fine. We were hot and heavy and in love and were a really cute couple, and I felt that it could just go up from there. So I thought. Continue reading