I met a girl online a few years ago when I was 16. We started a relationship because I believed we had a future, she told me she was planning on moving to my country when she was older, before we even met. In mid 2015, she had an idea where I lived in her country with her for 1 year, and we’d move back together which would have started January 2016 and ended January 2017.
The first month I lived with her, she told me the 1 year would end up as 5 years, I was alright with this, even though a tad disappointed (I’m a family person and I knew I’d miss them). Recently she’s been upset about not being sure if she wants to move to my country at all, leaving me here wondering what to do with myself, I can’t leave her because I’d miss her and I have too much stuff here to move out now. I’m starting to get strongly homesick and wondering what I should do. I’ve stopped talking to my friends and I even ditched a group of internet friends because she didn’t like them (I regret this and miss them). I can’t ask them for help as she might see the messages because whenever I touch my phone she watches me like a hawk. There’s a lot of other things to add but I’m trying to keep it short.
Talking to her doesn’t help as she gets upset and there’s no talking to her after that (I can’t get upset around her because if I do she cries too, it happened when I failed my driving test and my grandfather had a heart attack, I had to force myself to cheer up to cheer her up too). I should also add I tried to break up with her a while ago but couldn’t do it because of how upset she got, I feel like I only do things for her and nothing for myself anymore. I think I should also mention how she made me buy engagement rings, I said I wanted to because I do, but I didn’t want it so soon, she doesn’t believe in divorce so if we marry there’s no going home I think.
Woooow. That’s a expert level of manipulation. You are aware you are in a abusive relationship, right? I would definitely suggest counseling for you. Also, a plane ticket home from your family if possible. One of the first things narcissistic abusers do is isolate their victims. Run and don’t look back. Also, close her off from all your social media and don’t leave a loophole for her to get back at you or she will because she’s not done with you. You mean too much to her ego. I wish you the best of luck, because this will end ugly.
^ Yup, what Anonymous said. This is Straight up Abusive relationship. Get away, run, Sever all contact. Nothing good will come of it otherwise.