I need help. I feel so sick just typing this, I’m 20 years old, I’m a female. I met my current boyfriend on my very first day of college, a year and a half ago and we fell so in love. Everything was absolutely perfect (almost too perfect and I felt it was too good to be true.)
Just 2 months ago he admitted he kissed a girl on a night out (he doesn’t remember and didn’t realize it happened until his friend told him the next day, so he was seriously intoxicated. Obviously, he said it was a mistake, blah blah blah. I can’t get over it and feel so upset. He also admitted he flirted with a girl 6 months ago at a festival he went to (also drunk.)
Do I get rid of him or forgive and forget, which seems impossible at the minute?
4 thoughts on ““Do I get rid of him or forgive and forget?””
You have valid feelings and should address them with him. I would move on. You aren’t married. He isn’t either. He’s obviously not ready for a committed relationship and you are both young. It’s easier to move on since you have trust issues now.
He was so intoxicated he kissed another woman, but “doesn’t remember it.” AKA I don’t remember it around you, but my friend is more honest and less stupidly black out drunk than I was.
He’s flirting with other women. (That’s less of a transgression imo, but no with the way you feel.)
At least consider this two huge red flags and one more and he’s out. There are too many people out there who won’t get black out drunk and make out with random strangers in the world than to keep forgiving someone young and not ready for a relationship.
I thought this was a very difficult one to answer.
I would say, if only its convenient- give him one more chance. By that, if he is not getting in the way of your work, uni, or anything then stay with him.
I say this because 1) he has been honest with you. 2) Once on a night out, i snogged this guy and i felt so guilty and it made me realize how bad it was and how much i really love my partner. i was never honest with him. I have just forgotten about it. I have never risked it again and that was 2 years ago.
No matter what, do not leave him to believe you are gunna stay with him though, you have to make him realize how bad it is, and that your not gunna drop to your knees. If you get some nice messages, and a bit of effort on his part, kiss and make up. But after this, you cannot give him any more because then you know it wont stop.
Also, try and see him on a night out so you can visibly see him in the clubs with other women because you do get guys who are so nice, but give them a few drinks and they just think about trying to pull.
Sorry to complicate things more!
Forgive, but don’t forget.
Move forward and you guys both learn from this. If one of you doesn’t, that’ll become apparent soon enough.
I have been in a similar situation and told myself I wouldn’t go back . But love is love and I went back yes my thoughts wonder to what happened quite regular but I deal with it because I’m happy when I’m with him . Not going to lie it is hard and it does stay in your mind what they’ve done to you it won’t be erased but if they make you happy and you love them it’s worth a second shot if they know they are lucky your back to ty again