I’ve been working with this girl for about half a year. The first week we both started, I introduced myself, as I did to everyone else I didn’t know. She came up to me later and started a conversation with me. Asking what I liked to do, I told her I was into hiking and some other stuff. She was quick to ask when I was going next and with who, and asked that I hit her up and bring her. When we went hiking she admitted she had just recently been dumped by her ex, and it was clear she wasn’t over him yet. Hearing this, I backed off and listened, giving my honest advice on the issue and the way I saw situations like that typically unfolding. Cutting to the chase, we had a romance for a month to about two months. We never slept together, because she didn’t want to until her ex had moved out of the state like was intended.
One week he was gone completely, and it was great. She was happy with me and liked having me over. Looking back on it now I feel like she just wanted someone to appreciate and care for her, like her ex didn’t. He came back briefly and made a conversation with her. The day he did, she seemed distant with me, finally sending me a text saying she didn’t know what she wanted, and she just wants to be friends.
After reading it I was very upset, we clicked very well and very naturally. It was like we knew each other for years. After this, she started hooking up with different guys, a few of them. She’d do that and tell me all about it, always admitting she didn’t really like any of them. When she described what she wanted it was either me or exactly what I described to her what I wanted. Confusing me, I started to feel some resentment, and quite sad that we didn’t pick up where we left off.
Having to pretend I had no feelings for her, I began to date a new girl. Looking back on it, I only did it originally to get her jealous. I ended up taking the girls virginity, to realize a few weeks later that I wasn’t into my girlfriend as much as I was still into the girl I met at work. We’d hangout every week, and text everyday. Still working together, I dumped my ex and hoped to be with her. I told her over a text that I wished she was my ex for a second, and how comfortable I was with her and how we were into the same things and how she was so open and comfortable with me.
She ended up saying she cares a lot for me, and loves hanging with me too, that I’m one of the closest people in her life. But only as a friend. Reading this, I kind of felt a sigh of relief. I could know for certain and move on. Now I have plans on going to Italy, and she asked that I wait a little so she can come with me. I don’t know how I feel about it, and I’m not sure how much more of her I can take, because it’s starting to affect my mental health. I’m waking up sad and when I talk to her I just get depressed. Should I cut her out of my life entirely besides work? Or should I remain close friends and hope for something in the future? Thanks.