“My best friend is with a guy I like”

My roommate and I are both 22 year old women. We’ve both had a crush on the same guy (a friend from an event we do) for a while. She’s hot, I’m the DUFF. A long time ago, when we both admitted we liked him, she made us make a pact that we would be happy for the other one if the relationship happened for them.

I knew in that moment that I didn’t stand a chance, but I still held on to stupid hope. She decided to make a move on him at a party and, surprise surprise, turns out he likes her back. I want to be supportive of my best friend being happy, but it’s really difficult to hear them making out or wonder when the right time for me to leave the room is if we’re all hanging out at our house. Every time I try to talk to her about it she gets defensive and says she can’t help who she has feelings for, and I’m not even trying to talk her out of the relationship, just trying to discuss the very real challenge I’m feeling. I’m having a hard time letting him go, since he’s still a good friend and is still at our house a lot, but I’m trying to be supportive despite the pain I feel over this situation. I don’t want a boy to break up such an important friendship, but I feel like I’m at the end of my rope here. Any advice on how to move on/get through this?

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One thought on ““My best friend is with a guy I like”

  1. Anonymous says:

    It may be a good idea to find things to do outside of the apartment for a while just to be away from them both. If he asks you just tell him directly why. Don’t beat around the bush and don’t go after him while your friend is.

    She’s not going to be responsive to talking for a while. Most likely at least three months, because that’s when the lovely dovey harmonies wear off (the honey moon stage). Now is a good time for you to try online dating however. Don’t compare yourself to your friend and drag yourself down. Yeah you liked this one, but there are other men out there.

    If things become just unbearable, spring is a good time to go apartment shopping.

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