So, long story short. I am stuck in a massive rut, this past year has been horrible for me, I found out earlier in the year that I can’t have children. At the time I was 3 years into a relationship with my fiancee , I knew that she desperately wanted children more than anything and that me not being able to have them would crush her, and so I decided not to tell her.
A few months later we had an argument and broke up, I knew it was the right thing to do for her but it destroyed me to let her go. This began several months of destructive behaviour. I went back to recreational drug use and began putting less and less effort into everything, work and personal life.
I am now staring down the path of my life and know that something needs to change but mentally I am not even strong enough to talk to the people who care about me about these things, how on earth do I tackle what is becoming some serious depression before it gets too late?