So, long story short. I am stuck in a massive rut, this past year has been horrible for me, I found out earlier in the year that I can’t have children. At the time I was 3 years into a relationship with my fiancee , I knew that she desperately wanted children more than anything and that me not being able to have them would crush her, and so I decided not to tell her.

A few months later we had an argument and broke up, I knew it was the right thing to do for her but it destroyed me to let her go. This began several months of destructive behaviour. I went back to recreational drug use and began putting less and less effort into everything, work and personal life. Continue reading →