“I’m afraid for him to see me with my shirt off”

Last year, I left a 5-year-long abusive relationship. A large part of the abuse came from my ex’s humiliating name-calling during fights. Names often centering around my body and the word “fat.”

I have always been self-conscious of my body (I have been roughly 50 lbs overweight for most of my life), but that experience really left me mindf*cked. Now, I am free of him, and on my way to loving myself. Part of that includes eating healthier and exercising. I’ve been feeling great and do not feel discouraged to continue.

In the meantime however, I have a question regarding my fairly new relationship. Everything is going great, except that he has yet to see me without a shirt on. Our sexual chemistry is great, and he’s very respectful. But he’s also hot as f*ck and in amazing physical shape, and the thought of exposing my belly, boobs, and arms makes me wanna crawl in a hole. My question is … it has been almost two months. Is it to the point now, where I should just take my shirt off one night, or address it with him that I will take my shirt off when I am more comfortable with my body?

4 thoughts on ““I’m afraid for him to see me with my shirt off”

  1. nryder121 says:

    This might depend on the person, but I usually find it best to just be honest about my insecurities. If you can explain how you feel and why, he will be more able to help make you feel comfortable.

  2. CHRISTINA says:

    Hmm, I’m in a similar boat, 50 pounds overweight, but I think it depends on the guy. My boyfriend isn’t overweight, but he can’t seem to get enough of me. Is he really gonna toss you out of bed? I seriously doubt it. If you’re that uncomfortable, start small, sleep with the lights off, and be honest, tell him you’re uncomfortable. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised with his response, and if he isn’t supportive and encouraging you, then toss him to the curb and find someone who likes you as you are.

  3. 3laney says:

    There is nothing more vulnerable than showing someone your “everything” flaws and all. Just know your ex was taking cheap shots and he was never right. It sounds like this guy actually cares about your heart and mind and not just your body or else he wouldn’t be so patient. I say, grab a glass of wine, turn off the lights and bare your beautiful self, let him hold you and enjoy each other. You might even have fun. Good luck!

  4. Dave says:

    In my lifetime, I have been truly blessed. I have never been lonely, to speak of. Whenever I think that I wish I could find a girlfriend, right about that time…she finds me. While I prefer brunettes with a little extra “padding”, the kind of girls attracted to me tend to be very skinny blondes. In fact, two of the girls I have dated were professional models. One was a swimsuit model, the other was a lingerie model. Think of that…a girl who’s paid good money to look good NAKED. Yeah, super skinny…perfect face, perfect body.

    Why am I telling you about my good fortune with bedding some really super-gorgeous hot chicks? Because you need to understand where I’m coming from when I say….

    The BEST lover I have ever had in my lifetime was an overweight brunette who had some serious body “issues”. It was the best relationship of my life, and by FAR the best sexual relationship of my life. Our chemistry was incredible. We could literally make love a dozen times a day and still be desperate to f*ck again…
    This was a woman who most men would score a “5” (I’m being kind) on a beauty scale of 1 to 10.
    Looks mean very little. If he’s into you, then he’s into all of you. It won’t matter to HIM whether you have your shirt on or not. Just go for it…

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