I have been with the same guy for four years. We recently got engaged and we have a 9 month old daughter together. Right now I stay at home and take care of our baby girl. He works full time and pays all of the bills. Sounds perfect right?
Only I hate being dependent on him and I’m not sure if I even want to be in this relationship anymore. I feel so selfish for wanting to leave. Mostly because I want my daughter to be okay and have both of us. But also because he really hasn’t done anything wrong. I don’t feel anything with him anymore. My sex drive is little to none when I’m around him. He controls all the finances and also checks what I buy. I hate to say this but I feel more like his mother than his fiancée. Should I stay and try to work things out or should I get a job, save up and be on my way?
3 thoughts on ““I don’t think I want him anymore””
First off don’t marry him until you honest to God know you want to.
Secondly you may want to get checked out for post paradum depression.
Thirdly, for goodness sake yes get a job. That part alone would lead people into depression. Even if it’s just part time. You need it for your self worth.
Take it from a woman who has been in the same situation. DO NOT stay if you’re not sure about him. You will grow resentful and angry.
Don’t make a decision until you’ve taken care of yourself first. If you need a job and space for yourself, do it. If you leave you’ll need to do that anyway so there is no downside in that regard
It is normal to feel this way when you feel trapped, how could you not if you feel you aren’t getting what you need! Just keep in mind, it isn’t his job to give you that either. Give yourself that and see how you feel once recharged.
Talk to him. Give him the chance to rise to the occasion and support you. He may be feeling the same. You are together for a reason, you are partners and that means even when things are tough you can help each other even in some way. If after that you feel things aren’t working and you can’t work together, then it’s time to make things better for both of you by changing the situation by splitting up if it is the right thing to do.
You can’t control the world or the people in it. You can’t control his views, emotions or actions. All you can do is control your own actions so be true to yourself and make sure that whatever happens you can put your hand on your heart and say that you did what you needed to.