“My boyfriend and I have terrible luck”

I’m been in this LDR for over half a decade now, but my boyfriend and I seems to have absolutely terrible luck. He’s had to have a number of surgeries over the past years, one to fix a problem, and then the rest to try to fix what was a botched surgery. He’s tried to sue the doctor, but that’s not going very well because he ends up never hearing back.

He’s spent the majority of the last 4 years still trying to heal up, and since he can’t lift anything or even bend down, or even sit for prolonged periods of time, he’s unable to work. I am trying to do my best to support him emotionally as best I can, but I find it difficult as, on top of all of this, both of us suffer from depression and anxiety, and neither of us have proper support systems, as the people in both our environments are rather toxic, and are unwilling to be there for us as we are for them, despite all that’s going on.

It is also getting harder and harder to stay in contact with him because his headsets keep breaking, and his dogs keep chewing up his wires and whatnot, and his brand-new laptop is going out yet again (he’s already sent it back and now it no longer has a warranty), and he’s having trouble with replacing things since he can’t afford to as neither of us are working, him due to health reason, and myself because I’ve attention issues in school, no transport, and my home environment makes keeping a job almost impossible right now.

I’ve considered multiple times that breaking up with him might be a good idea for myself personally, but at the same time, it feels like that would just be running away from the problem, and since I have absolutely no support system in place except for him (and vice-versa), which I think is incredibly unfair to make him shoulder, that it wouldn’t be a considerate thing to do. I care about him immensely, but this starting to feel way too overwhelming to keep quiet to myself. I’m worried that if I leave him, he might commit suicide since things are looking so hopeless for him right now. I also don’t like the idea of being without a single person to connect to anymore, as I’ve spent the majority (and I mean majority) of my life in solitude and isolation, without emotional support and with plenty of emotional abusers who have succeeded in making me feel incredibly insecure about myself. I really don’t know what to do, and so I’ve come here, at my wits end.

One thought on ““My boyfriend and I have terrible luck”

  1. Sam says:

    It’s my first time on this site. (I came here for some anonymous advice myself.) Your situation has a few similarities as mine as far as being with someone who is suffering with depression/anxiety/lonelyness etc. and wondering if you should stick with them or if ultimately it would be better for YOU to make a change. On the one hand you have such deep feelings and attachment for this person and it feels almost selfish to leave them. It feels like abandoning them. But on the other hand you have a right to do what’s best for you. I don’t know which choice is the right choice in your situation or mine. I know that’s not very helpful, but I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone and that I hope whatever happens it works out for you.

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