“I’m in love with my boyfriend’s best friend”

I have feelings for my boyfriend’s best friend. Yes, it sounds like every cheesy movie ever, but it happened to me. I have been with my boyfriend for 7 years. While we have had our good times, the majority has been miserable. I suffered from depression during the relationship and lost sight of who I was.

Now, I have gotten treatment for my depression and am feeling happier, but I am still unsure about the relationship. I always try to listen to my boyfriend’s wants and needs, while I feel that he does not return the favor. I have discussed this with him many times and only recently have seen results. Unfortunately, I believe he is only making these changes because he fears he will lose me.

A year ago we separated, and I became really close with his best friend. After this came to his attention, he made grand promises in order to get me back. I hate to throw away 7 years, and he seemed serious so I give him another chance. He has made changes but they are slow and this has happened before. However, he always returns to normal. Now, I’m concerned I may be missing out on something amazing with his best friend.

The thing is, I’m not sure the best friend would end a friendship to date me. He has even asked my boyfriend if he could ever date me if we broke up, and my boyfriend said no or the friendship would end. Should I tell the best friend my feelings and see what he says? I’m afraid to tell my boyfriend first because he may talk to his best friend before I can and I’ll be single with no prospects. While single is not bad, these guys have become very important to me after 7 years and I would hate to suddenly lose them both. What should I do?

2 thoughts on ““I’m in love with my boyfriend’s best friend”

  1. Anonymous says:

    End this relationship with your boyfriend before you do anything. He isn’t doing what you need and you already know he’s just telling you what you want to hear before reverting to his old ways. You only have so much life to live, so end this so you both can find the person you need in life.

    I would suggest that you don’t start a relationship with his best friend for 6+ months. Just live by yourself and get more sure of yourself. You already know you want a relationship with him and by then your ex will be ok with the situation. If not and the best friend doesn’t want to pursue this relationship then start on-line dating to find the person you need. You need to be ok with being alone first. Yes, it is scary being alone, but now it’s time to love who you are and heal.

    Best of luck to you.

  2. Ella says:

    I think you should go for the best friend as you don’t fall for him in the first place if your boyfriend was doing what you needed you should talk with best friend and tell him your feelings but also tell him to don’t tell anyone if he don’t want this relationship to happen and just distance yourself from both I know you will find someone who would be what you want I hope it helps you

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