“I’ve fallen in love with a woman my wife and I had a threesome with”

To start things I am married and madly in love with my wife. I understand that a lot of people will not understand the things I write here but it is the situation I am in.

My wife and I have a relationship with another couple that is far beyond traditional. The four of us often get together and things get sexual. This started because I had always had a fantasy of a threesome and my wife was game for it if we found another female we could agree on. We had known Crystal for several years and I knew she had an attraction towards my wife. So over time I worked on laying little clues and eventually flat out telling Crystal of my wife’s and my attraction towards her. Here is the kicker Crystal has a boyfriend and they are swingers in a sense.

Jade, Crystal, James (Crystal’s boyfriend), and I decided to take a trip together, where we planned to all have sex for the first time that night. Since then, the four of us have had sex together three times, and even once, James was unable to go on a trip, so Crystal decided to ask James for permission and he gave it to her. So the three of us had sex. Fantasy truly fulfilled.

However here is the true issue….

I have only recently told my wife and have not told Crystal (don’t know if I can or should) and never would tell James. I have fallen in love with Crystal. I love to see her smile I hate to see her cry. I’m in love with her. I understand that people will read this and say that means I dont love my wife but if someone says you can’t love 2 people they are wrong cuase I do. I would go to the ends of the earth for my wife, no one I wouldn’t fight, I would die for my wife, and more importantly I live for my wife. But I am having the same feelings for Crystal I had for my wife early in our relationship. I get jealous over her I will defend her even when she is wrong…..

I don’t want to end the sexual relationship because it is something. I feel the need to tell her but I don’t want to add to the complications that are already there because so many people know about our sexual relationship. To add to all of this I don’t want to put that on James cuase he is a good person and I like him.

If anything was to happen between James and Crystal I may decide to tell her but even then…. I feel like I need an outsiders point of view. Please skip the judgement on my lifestyle but I could use some constructive ideas on this….

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One thought on ““I’ve fallen in love with a woman my wife and I had a threesome with”

  1. Ellen says:

    You need to do some research into Polyamory – the philosophy or state of being in love or romantically involved with more than one person at the same time (def. taken from Google). I have a friend who is polyamorous. She has been married for close to twenty years and has two children. Her relationship with her husband is one of the strongest I think I have ever seen. In a polyamorous marriage and relationship it is not about the sex, it is about a relationship of the heart. Sex just happens to be a part of most of the relationships. My friend has several suitors with whom she doesn’t have a physical relationship but spends weekends and quality time with. Ultimately, it all comes down to you and your wife’s goals as a couple. Because, this is about the relationship you have with each other first before any other. You both need to sit and have a serious, all out honest discussion about where you’re relationship is headed and what the goals are to make sure you are both on the same page. All of this is regardless of the couple to whom you find yourselves tied to at the moment. Once you and your wife have agreed on the type of relationship and goals desired, then you need to set out your structure of acceptance and rules. Again, all of this can be found on many sites supporting the polyamorous lifestyle. Research, research, research, communication, communication, communication. Positive thoughts to you both and good luck on your journey!

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