“I think he might be happier if I were no longer in his life”

I’m engaged to a wonderful man that has been a great part of my young adult years. We have been through many up and downs, but recently I made a mistake that has cost us financially. He resents me for it, and although day-to-day he is very loving, when we occasionally fight he turns the conversation toward my mistakes and becomes overwhelmed and angry.

I am very disappointed that I am now his greatest stress — and quite possibly a regret. I would be completely heartbroken without him, but I think he might be happier if I were no longer in his life.

Any advice?

Advertisements

One thought on ““I think he might be happier if I were no longer in his life”

  1. Ellen says:

    Before making assumptions as to how he feels, you need to sit down and have an open and honest discussion. Put it all out on the table and give him the opportunity to discuss his feelings and thoughts without reprisal from you. In other words, you have to be willing to sit and listen without interrupting in the attempts to defend yourself. You will also have to be willing to accept how he feels even if this means he wishes to be separated from you. Right now he may be lashing out simply because to him he is dealing with the aftermath of your reckless decisions, and because of a financial burden you created he may feel he is having to rectify it alone. Also, he may feel as though you have not fully understood the repercussions of your actions. This is where after he vents himself, you have the opportunity to make restitution and ask him to help you make a plan to recover financially. You must be willing to listen to him with the understanding that you created this situation, taking responsibility for your actions. Once he hears you take responsibility, without justification, owning up to the burden created and being open to creating a plan of action he will begin to calm. In a relationship it is not all on one person to fix a problem. It is a partnership of responsibility and action. It is team work built on the foundation of respect, trust and love. Good luck to you both!

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s