I am 30 years old. I am overweight, but working on it. All I have is a GED and a couple certifications. I am sociable, but not quite socially adept, as I have never had a spouse. What I enjoy most does not make me any money, and what can make me money, I can’t seem to focus enough on academia to do.
I start a new job soon, but it is a linear, dead-end job. It hurts my ego a bit, as I feel like I should be in a much better place in my life, but, due to my choices, I am not. I feel slightly out of touch or disassociated with things, apathetic toward most things these days. I am an atheist, so any thoughts of mortality tend to scare me enough that I wake up in a very depressed mood, repeating a phrase before falling asleep again to feel nothing in the morning enough so that I can go about my day.
I am not sure what my next step is, and I think what I am looking for is another perspective, or answer if possible. While I may or may not have depression, I don’t think a pill will solve it, and I can’t afford a shrink.
Any insight would be much appreciated. Thank you.