I am 30 years old. I am overweight, but working on it. All I have is a GED and a couple certifications. I am sociable, but not quite socially adept, as I have never had a spouse. What I enjoy most does not make me any money, and what can make me money, I can’t seem to focus enough on academia to do.
I start a new job soon, but it is a linear, dead-end job. It hurts my ego a bit, as I feel like I should be in a much better place in my life, but, due to my choices, I am not. I feel slightly out of touch or disassociated with things, apathetic toward most things these days. I am an atheist, so any thoughts of mortality tend to scare me enough that I wake up in a very depressed mood, repeating a phrase before falling asleep again to feel nothing in the morning enough so that I can go about my day.
I am not sure what my next step is, and I think what I am looking for is another perspective, or answer if possible. While I may or may not have depression, I don’t think a pill will solve it, and I can’t afford a shrink.
Any insight would be much appreciated. Thank you.
LemonVibe 
I understand your feelings, I’m about to quit my job and start something new, scary, that may not be profitable, but I’m trying it anyway. The most important thing is that you have the power to do whatever you want to do, you are strong and that strenght is inside you, all you need to do is search for it. I’m reading a book that I’m not sure is translated to English yet but it’s based on 4 principles: To analize the situation you’re in, to figure out your objectives, to look for different solutions and to pick one and act on it. It may not be very helpful but the moment you feel like you do right now is the moment to act, to do something to change your life…it’s in your own hands after all 🙂