“I’m ready to be married, but he keeps making excuses”

I have been with my boyfriend for three-and-a-half years and living together for two-and-a-half years. We bought a house together one-and-a-half years ago and decided then to start trying to get pregnant (we have a big age gap and time is of the essence). We now have a four-month-old baby. We have an awesome relationship and love each other very much, however, marriage has been on the table for the last couple years.

He has been telling me he wants to save for a ring. I didn’t push it too much before, but now that the baby’s been here for a while, I would really like to get the ball rolling. It’s just a personal preference for me. I’d like to be married especially now that we have a kid together. I did tell him just before the baby was born that I no longer cared about a ring, but he was adamant about it.

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“Our 20-year age gap is starting to affect our marriage”

This is incredibly difficult, because I have never articulated my situation in words to anyone before this. Here we go.

I am a married woman, 28 years old, and the mother of a beautiful toddler. My husband of 4 years is 20 years my senior. I feel this age gap, once a charming quirk of our relationship, is now a source of unhappiness. Notably, our unfulfilling sex life. I am a young, energetic, sensuous woman. Sex is very important to me spiritually, emotionally, and certainly physically. Tensions do build up! My husband is less interested, not just in intercourse but all the trappings of a passionate relationship. I estimate we “do it” about 6 times a year. All my attempts to arouse him are met with outright rejection or apathy. My self esteem suffers. When we do manage, the sex is uninspired and entirely one sided.

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