My boyfriend and I have been together for seven years. I am still madly in love with him, but lately he has been doubting our future. He says that he has fears and doubts about our future together, but right now he still loves me.
He believes that I deserve better than him because he thinks he cannot give me the things I want from life. I disagree because he is everything I ever wanted and more. The thought of us not being together makes me sick to my stomach. Part of me is wondering if this is just phase he is going through that will pass over time, but another part of me is worried that all this questioning will cause more problems.
What I am wondering is should we continue to try to work on our relationship? We still enjoy each other’s company and love each other, but something has changed. It feels like a shame to give up on something we have shared for seven years with out trying to make it work. But is there really any way to come out of this? Am I being a silly girl who is blinded by love?
3 thoughts on ““My boyfriend says I deserve better than him””
From what you said, I’d say it’s the 7 year barrier you’re trying to cross right now. Most people I know agree that at the 6th or 7th year of a relationship it will go through a phase where you question your feelings (or one of you do) and wonder if this person is really who you want to spend your life with. I’ll tell you this: if you love each other you should do what your heart tells you…if it tells you to fight for your love, then do it! Yes, I’m a romantic, but I truly think it’s just a phase. Try to reassure him of your feelings as often as possible 🙂
I agree with what onefemalearch says above, but I’d also like to add this:
Does your boyfriend want to work on the relationship? Not to sound fatalistic, but it seems like he’s about ready to check out of the relationship. I think that’s the key here: Yes, you can start to question the relationship after seven years. Yes, it’s normal to feel like this. But ultimately, do you both want to keep working at it?
If you do, but he doesn’t, then … unfortunately, I don’t know that there’s anything you can do on your end.
Maybe try and find out why he feels as if he can’t give you the things you want In life? And at the same time find out if he is willing to work on the relationship?