“My pregnant girlfriend’s family hates me, and she cheated on me, too”

To understand the seriousness of my question, I must tell you the short bit of what’s going on …

A girl I was with before got pregnant, but I only found out after three months of not talking to her. She is now in her 3rd trimester. After hearing the news, I started working towards a better life for my child. We ended up back together, because I figured I had few other options at the time, and finding out that news was so random.

I tagged along with a family member to go to Alaska. I had discussed this with her, and we had it planned so that I would get set up there first, and then she would come along as well, so that we could give the family thing a shot and stay together.

After being out there for a short time, she suddenly started having these doubts about it all, and I noticed a change in attitude when we would talk on the phone, which I found strange. I later found out it was because her family was always trash-talking me and filling her head with all of these what-if situations.

With that being said, I had to think of another way for us to be together and for me to be in my daughter’s life. So I moved in with her and her family. Biggest mistake. After being here for a few months, I ended up sending all the money I had on her car and things for the baby. I started working for a bit, but was fired because of a coworker’s personal issue with me.

Now I can’t find a job, have no money, and have no family around here to help me (or anyone who is willing to). Her family has started talking bad about me and always persuades her to go against me on everything. I feel uncomfortable living here because I’m unsure how much longer I’ll be here before they convince her to kick me out.

She has started treating me really badly, and a couple of days ago, she confessed to cheating on me while I was away in Alaska. The big thing about that is she blames me for her cheating, saying I wasn’t around even though she knows I couldn’t be even if I wanted to.

I have given this woman the little (but all) I had to offer, but I guess it wasn’t enough. So I guess my question now is, what do I do? Or where do I go from here? I’m really unhappy and just hate my life. I am barely able to drag myself out of bed, because in my mind, I have nothing left and nothing to keep me going.

5 thoughts on ““My pregnant girlfriend’s family hates me, and she cheated on me, too”

  1. Ken says:

    1) sorry to ask but are you sure the baby is yours if she has cheated on you before?
    2) if you were to move out, would you be able to get some visitation time and split custody, or would she just ask you for child support each month without allowing you to visit?
    3) if you’re THIS miserable with no end in sight, and everyone in her family is against you, it might behoove you to start over and go with #2 above.

    • Anonymous says:

      She has no want to keep me in the picture, child support is already being talked about and the visitation stuff is going to be a problem if I have no place of my own.. I don’t want to loose my daughter or dig this whole I’m in any deeper then it’s already been…

  2. Rebecca Sullins says:

    I first would like to commend you for trying to be a good father. But in order to be a good father, you have to be available and independent. Two things you are not doing very well right now. Move out of your GF’s family’s house. Get a job. You CAN get a job somewhere… the fact that you say you can’t just means you’re not looking hard enough. If you have to, go flip some burgers for a while until you find something better. Stand on your own two feet, or you’re going to be NO good to that child.

    • Anonymous says:

      Well see the whole thing about work is just that where I’m at there literally isn’t anything. Just family owned buisnesses that have no want to hire strangers. And the next town over is like 30 mins away.

    • Dennis Hong says:

      Thanks for following up. Yeah, I can see you’re in a tough spot, and at this point, it sounds like you can either stay and support your daughter, or leave and make a living.

      If she and her family truly don’t want you to be there — and that’s what it sounds like — maybe your best bet is just to leave for a while, at least until you can support yourself. It doesn’t mean that you can’t come back in a year or two. It just means that you’ll come back when you’re in a better state.

      And if you’re unwanted, anyway … well, then maybe this is for the best.

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