I’m 20 years old and i was dating this guy who is 27. We dated for about a year about two years ago then he broke up with me because he said he didn’t feel it was the right time for him and i that he wanted to take time for himself. After he broke up with me he wanted to get back together almost a week later but i told him no because he said he wanted to take time for himself and that he should take that time and maybe i should as well. Despite the fact that we had broken up we continued to communicate and see each other often because his sister is my best friend. Fast forward two years later things continue he’s still in love with me and i love him but i don’t think the relationship will be the same anymore. I feel bad because he’s done so many good things for me, my mother loves him, his family is close with me.Him and his sister are pretty close and her being my best friend makes things weird because i feel like my relationship with her can be ruined because of him. At the same time i feel like because him and i still communicated and saw each other pretty often we never really experienced and actually break up and i’m starting to feel like i want to experience something new. Most recently i met a new guy who i really like a lot, and i kind of want to see where things go with him. I wanted to be honest with my ex boyfriend so i told him about the new guy and he completely broke down crying telling me he’s loved me for 2 years and here i am being interested in a new guy who i barely know, I’ve encouraged him to date other people since we broke up he just won’t do it and the new guy wanted to make things official but i told him i needed to work some things out before i could do that. So he told me it’s either him or the other guy and he told me not to speak to him until i have an answer. I don’t know what to do this confusion is killing me
2 thoughts on “What do i do”
[Love isn’t always fair. He really shouldn’t force you to choose because that’s a little abusive. But I know how the guy feels. I also know that in time he won’t feel as hurt anymore. If the friendship comes to an end because of this that’s his decision. Which, honestly, you have to accept that decision and respect his wishes. He isn’t going to want to be friends for a while. This will give you both the time and space to move on.
Maybe down the line you guys can get along again. Right now the space is probably necessary.
You owe EX-boyfriend NOTHING. He dumped you and you said “ok” and tried to move on. GOOD!
You should explore thinigs with the new guy but take it at your pace. If you’re not ready to commit to him exclusively or officially then don’t. But don’t let the relationship with your EX affect that decision.
I am a bit confused as to which guy said “me or him!” If it was the EX the answer is simple “I choose someone else. It may or may not end up being the new guy, but it will NEVER be you thanks to this stunt!” If it’s the new guy the answer is the same. “Me or him!” is almost never a good ultimatum. (I think “hey, you can’t be friends with the guy you cheated on me with. It’s either him or me!” is one of the rare exceptions).
Good Luck! Be YOUNG. Date. Enjoy.