“I feel guilty about my emotional cheating”

About three years ago, I met the guy of my dreams. We have been dating for 2.5 years, and I truly love him. I feel like we connect emotionally and physically, and I know that is a rare find!

I’ve never felt so close to someone. However, since a few weeks ago, I have been starting to feel attracted to a colleague. One night, I got drunk and slept over at the colleague’s house. At night nothing happened, but in the morning, when we were sober, we held each other and talked about our feelings of attraction for each other. Continue reading

“I’ve been dreaming about my coworker who reminds me of my boyfriend”

I’ve been in a relationship for almost 3 years with a good guy. He’s honestly a good person. We’ve been together since I was 20 and he had just turned 30. The first four months of our relationship were amazing. Total honeymoon phase. But after we started living together, he started to show his true emotional weaknesses. He would play video games for hours, sometime bordering on days. He would come home from work and ignore me until bedtime, where he would toss and turn until morning, only to do it all over again.

We never did anything fun or went anywhere together. I was starting to feel incredibly trapped and unappreciated. We fought all the time, with me always conceding my side to calm him down or make him happy. He finally got some help with his depression and things got better.

We still fight, and nothing I do seems to be good enough for him. I’m too lazy, I’m not clean enough, I forget to do things, I’ve gained a bit of weight. All these things make me feel like I’m not good enough for anyone. I always feel like the one who is more caring and affectionate. We didn’t have sex for months at a time. And we when we did, it was lacklustre and sad. When I lay it all out like this it seems horrible. Continue reading

“He says sexual/perverted things to me”

I met someone at work a few months back. He works in a different department, but often comes around to chat with people. He’s been talking to me a lot, trying to get to know me, and I’ve noticed he seems different to me than to other girls. He talks about personal things sometimes, and lately has been saying some sexual/perverted things. Also, whenever he sees me or talks to me, he brushes his hand against my arm or nudges me.

There are times, however, when he ignores me — when he’s with other people (male or female), sometimes he pretends I’m not there and pretends he isn’t looking at me. I haven’t known him for that long, but it really confuses me, because it would seem as though he likes me, or at least wants to have sex with me. But then there are moments when he acts like he has a problem with me.

He teases often in a friendly way, but sometimes he is just mean, and I really don’t know what to think about it. Somebody said it might just be that he wants to have sex, but doesn’t want to tell me, as it might be inappropriate. I’m not sure what to believe.

“I have a crush on my boss”

So, I started working my current job when I was 18. I’d never had any sexual/romantic interest in another person at this point in my life, and never thought I would, until I met my boss.

He was a breath of fresh air compared to the younger boys I worked with, had a great sense of humor and was really easy to tease/get flustered, which I enjoyed. He’d tell me I was like a little sister, easy to read. But like most of these stories go, he was already in a relationship.

He would randomly mention his fiancee when we spoke so I took that as a signal to stop speaking to him so much, which I respectively did even changing shifts to give him space. Some months went by and it was kind of awkward between us because a mutual friend had told him I was crushing on him and he kept asking why I was dodging him, he felt lonely. Continue reading

“I have a new job, and a new office crush”

I just started a new job at the beginning of the summer, and globally everything has been going pretty well: I’ve developed friendships with a lot of my colleagues, and I also enjoy the casual work environment and the work itself a lot. However, there is this one colleague that always made me a little nervous and self-conscious; it doesn’t help that he was the one who mostly trained me when I arrived (we work on the same project). I always thought he had a dreamy smile and I kind-of feel attracted to his personality and his intelligence. However, lately this little attraction has grown into a full blown crush that is making my life in the office difficult, plus I feel super guilty because I already have a wonderful partner of three years whom I am deeply in love with and feel lucky to have. Obviously, I don’t want this crush-thing to go anywhere romantically-speaking. I’ve read a bit online and I know that crushes can happen even when you are already committed; it doesn’t change the fact that it doesn’t feel good. I tried rechanneling this excitement and extra energy into my relationship, and everything is going pretty well on that front. It is more the work-related consequences of this attraction that worry me. Continue reading

“I can’t tell if my coworker likes me”

So I’ve written a blurb before, but things have changed quite a bit since then, and now I’m just as lost as I was before.

I have an immense crush on my coworker. I have for quite a while now. Everyone at work kind of knows Im fond of him. I’m not a particularly friendly person, and I’m usually pretty quiet/shy, so it’s been pretty obvious that I like him. We were fast friends, too. We like all the same things, have the same sense of humor etc.

But since it’s so OBVIOUS that we get along really well, my coworkers tease us constantly and sometimes they can be pretty crude/inappropriate about it.

It’s led to us kind of looking over our shoulder before we talk to each other and sort of pretending to ignore each other sometimes because our coworkers watch us like hawks. We’re their entertainment. My boss has gotten increasingly more rude to me as a result of all this too.

We’re just friends. Flirty friends. We always have been … despite the rumors. We’ve talked about a “friends with benefits” kind of thing just once (in private, after another coworker stirred the thought into existence) – about a week or so ago. We mutually decided that we’d like to — but it’s a really bad idea. This was decided after we both severely overreacted to each other’s hesitation and got into an argument. So the verdict was that it would ruin our friendship, and we dropped it and went back to just being flirty friends. Continue reading