“I love the person she used to be, but I’m not sure she exists anymore”

I met a girl when I was 14 years old, and I’m gonna sound like a dumb kid, but I was pretty certain that I was gonna spend the rest of my life with her. That was not the case. We broke up after about two-and-a-half years, and it didn’t end well.

I ended up moving states to create a bit of distance. We’ve been on again, off again for almost three years since we broke up, only seeing each other maybe twice in that time. We’ve left partners for each other, and for some delusional reason, think we are both meant to be together, even though the odds are stacked against us.

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“I think I’m ready to leave my husband”

I met two great guys at the same time. It was a blind date with one. He brought me over to his place and I met his roommate/best friend the same day. I was instantly attracted to his best friend and I could sense that the feeling was mutual. At the time his best friend was in a relationship (at least that’s what I was told at the time), so I backed off. I eventually married my date and have been mostly happy for over 13 years. Throughout those years I’ve grown closer to his best friend.

One night we were talking and I learned that when we first met, he was NOT in a relationship. He did end up in a long-term relationship with a friend not long after our first meeting, but my husband obviously lied to keep me around and away from him. We both have admitted that we love each other, but we have never and WILL never do anything behind my husband’s back. We are both the type that would never betray a friend, no matter what so each time we’re around each other it feels a bit tense.

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“Our 20-year age gap is starting to affect our marriage”

This is incredibly difficult, because I have never articulated my situation in words to anyone before this. Here we go.

I am a married woman, 28 years old, and the mother of a beautiful toddler. My husband of 4 years is 20 years my senior. I feel this age gap, once a charming quirk of our relationship, is now a source of unhappiness. Notably, our unfulfilling sex life. I am a young, energetic, sensuous woman. Sex is very important to me spiritually, emotionally, and certainly physically. Tensions do build up! My husband is less interested, not just in intercourse but all the trappings of a passionate relationship. I estimate we “do it” about 6 times a year. All my attempts to arouse him are met with outright rejection or apathy. My self esteem suffers. When we do manage, the sex is uninspired and entirely one sided.

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