“I can’t get promoted because I’m female”

I’ve worked for the same place for two years. I just was promoted when I found out that the position I’ve always desired, would be unavailable to me because I am a female, and this position is available (in our establishment) to males exclusively.

I have always declared my desire to attain the position and was only told, reluctantly, after many repeated requests about the position that because I was female, I would not be entertained for it. I feel extremely hurt. I have not quit, but am at a loss for what to do. I love my current position but know that I won’t want to stay in it forever. I want to grow and promote. I don’t know what to do.

Everything I do feels so tainted by this, and I’ve lost an enormous amount of respect for our senior leader. He is not sexist and insists I am doing an amazing job. He is respectful and kind. He enjoys hearing myself and other women communicate (I am communicator) and is very encouraging. I am so torn about what to do. Unless he changes his mind, I will not be promoted and will only be able to move laterally. I will never be able to have equal material benefits or social benefits of the title. It’s become harder and more confusing, and though I try not to be, I find it hard to be as excited as I once was, about the work we do. Everything is now yellow colored and dull instead of green and alive.



“Love at first sight and love at first read”

The guy I’m in love with doesn’t want me, and the guy who wants me I don’t give a damn about. I have this quasi relationship with a guy friend I went to high school with. He always tells me how cute and sexy I am but I know that’s all he thinks of me, he’s told me he doesn’t have romantic feelings. I’m only half-attracted to him physically even, but we’re both lonely and we both need a warm body in bed sometimes.

Meanwhile, there’s this OTHER guy. It was love at first sight. He’s contributed articles to a political newsletter I intern for, and when I read his writing, it was love at first read. He’s genuinely the smartest person I know, with a really cool taste and music and style, and really cute, boy next door good looks. I went out with him once and had a great time, and I thought he felt the same, but he said he was too busy right now to try to start a relationship. Besides, he’s planning to move across the country in a year or so for school.

I basically understand I should cut it off with the first guy, although it is hard when I know the alternative is being alone. I do not know what I should do about this other guy who I fell in love with at first sight who does not have time for me.

“My boyfriend all of a sudden wants to take our only car to work”

My boyfriend and I have one car. Right now he is working and I am not. He works real crazy hours (sometimes 20 hour days) so he says he doesn’t want me to work. I have been looking for a job anyway though.

Usually I take him to work, since it’s only 15 minutes down the road. For a while he was saying he wanted me to take him so I wasn’t stranded at home all day. Today we got in a huge fight. I drove him to work, we kissed, I went home, and everything was fine. Then about 2 hours later, he called me saying he should be driving to work and that all my lazy ass does is sit at home. (Which is completely incorrect, I clean, wash his clothes, cook, grocery shop, pay all the bills, and run all the errands.)

I got real upset and asked where this was coming from. He said he’s tired of seeing everyone at work drive up in their cars and trucks, but I have to drop him off. My thing is though, why all of a sudden, is he cussing me out over that? Why can’t he just say I want to drive to work today? He never has and it has become a habit, so it’s just how it’s been lately. I haven’t even thought anything of it. I don’t know what to do, please someone give me some advice.

“Confused which guy I love”

Oh boy, do I need your help. I split with an amazing guy 6 years ago. We connected so well and I trusted him endlessly, but he always felt a bit far away and had a gaming addiction (which he’s since resolved). I had an internship opportunity in Africa and had to decide whether to keep it short and come back to him, or end our relationship and be open to jobs there. So I laid out 2 things I needed from him – stop gaming so much and be a bit more sexually adventurous – but he said he couldn’t do those things. So I ended it.

Forward 6 years. Work, and the decision I want a family, landed me on the other side of North America from my ex. I hadn’t met anyone and kept thinking about him. I wrote him a long letter, and we talked so openly about what happened. I learned that during that time he was failing school, and actually dropped out, adding 2 years to his education when we split. He couldn’t give me what I needed, because he was losing himself. He would love to explore us, but right then he was seeing an old ex who was going through a lot (alcoholism), and while he doubted it’d last, he had to let it take its course. Continue reading

“My male best friend has a girlfriend”

I have a male best friend. He’s always been in love with me but I was in a relationship and that created some distance . I broke off my relationship due to some issues and we became quite close again.

But then I thought he was over me but suddenly he’s seeing this girl and they are dating. We both lost our virginity to each other and he keeps saying he wishes he could be with me. I can’t stand him dating her and I think I should break things off with him. We still have sex often, even though he now has a girlfriend. I’m just confused on what to do.

“I feel completely alone right now”

I feel completely alone right now. I love my boyfriend deeply, but, recently, I found him texting another girl after a night out. He’s cheated before, but, foolishly, I forgave him. He says he’s sorry, but, I just don’t know what to do at this point. I don’t understand what I did wrong for him to cheat on me. And now every time that he leaves to a friend’s or his cousin’s house, and I think he’s cheating. I’m completely lost on what I should do.

“I don’t know how to share my feelings with anyone”

Okay, so, me and my best friend are super close, we tell each other everything and we’re both fairly open, but when it comes to my feelings, I shut everyone out. I feel like I’m ruining people’s days by telling them my troubles. I don’t know what to do. I can’t even tell my best friend how I feel. I feel like I want to change my personality because everyone thinks I’m weird. i don’t know how to do it . 😦

“I’m in love with a cheater”

I feel completely alone right now. I love my boyfriend deeply, but recently I found him texting another girl after a night out. He’s cheated before, but foolishly I forgave him. He says he’s sorry, but I just don’t know what to do at this point. I don’t understand what I did wrong for him to cheat on me, and now, every time he leaves to a friends or his cousins, I think he’s cheating. I’m completely lost on what I should do?

“I’m confused by what my ex-girlfriend wants”

Me and my girlfriend broke up last Thursday because she needed space and learn how to find happiness within herself. But she said she still loves me.

Sunday one of my friends got In a argument about how I deserved better and weirdly, that day she was acting like we were dating again. Later on that day, she texted one of my exes and told her to leave me, her boyfriend, alone and block me. But on Monday, things went back to normal, and we were still broken up.

I get depressed a lot and Tuesday I woke up very in a bad mood and cut myself. When I told her, she didn’t seem to care and said she couldn’t talk anymore. I told her that it was okay, and later she texted me saying she didn’t mean forever. That confused me super bad and we started to talk again, but not like we were back together. Continue reading