“I’m feeling out of place in my relationship”

I went to my boyfriend’s bar to pick him up and he bought me food which was sweet. We sat and talked, he just told me stories about his past, I tried to talk about ideas or something more mentally intriguing, but as usual he was not reciprocating and seemed uninterested. I like hearing stories of his past but it seems like it’s all he talks about recently…which in turn made me feel bored.

So I went to dance, he didn’t come to watch. I danced for about 15 mins then returned to the table. I had bought new clothes and dressed up for him, he didn’t acknowledge it until i finally asked for a compliment, which has also been a trend. I started dancing at the table, trying to be cute..but he just kept his eyes on his phone to look at Facebook, glancing at me seldomly and kept trying to show me peoples posts from social media. We finally decide it’s time to leave, and go home.

Once home, some roommates and friends are kicking back but we head to the room. We both lie on the bed, he gets on his phone again. I take my shirt off, so now I’m in my bra and shorts only. It’s a new bra, well bra-lette, and he criticizes it for being too sheer and that it seems pointless. Despite that comment, I want to continue staying positive, so I suggest we throw our own party in the room and that we should play a card game and drink. He agrees, then tells me to get some beers from the kitchen. I ask him if he could grab the beers since I was in my bra.

I should note that I’ve been topless a few occasions around him in acceptable public areas, so he fires back saying that it’s a double standard, that I can have my tits out and feel comfortable at some points, but not at others. I disagree with him. I had a few drinks so I don’t want to argue and kill my vibe.

He does not like this, and says I’m in the wrong and continues to want to argue about it. So I shut down, and start looking on my phone, trying to maintain my good mood that is quickly dwindling. I did explain i didn’t want to argue, just to make that clear..and I do have some issues communicating under pressure, so it annoys him that I won’t talk about it. Then he puts a song on his phone with harsh lyrics about a shitty girlfriend who can’t talk to her boyfriend..this made me feel awful.

Feeling backed into a very awkward corner, and sad now with a ruined mood, I decided to rest my head on the pillow, and began to really feel down. He then asked what I was doing, at which I replied “going to sleep”, not knowing what else to say. He immediately said “ok” in an annoyed tone and quickly hopped out of bed and left the room to go hang out with the people in the living room. So now here I am, trying to comfort myself and make sense of it all.. I feel so confused and low right now, like I’ve done something horribly wrong and I feel lost…I know it takes two to tango, but I’m beginning to feel out of place in my relationship, and want to figure out what’s wrong with me that I could fix to resolve these bad feelings.

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One thought on ““I’m feeling out of place in my relationship”

  1. Anonymous says:

    You two aren’t meant for each other. I see several points where you both in the wrong.

    You don’t listen to him.
    He phubbed you.
    You want attention and need compliments.
    He ignores your needs and is passive aggressive.
    You are passive aggressive in return.

    To be blunt neither of you should be in a relationship until you both mature and learn to communicate better. The drinking won’t help you and you should stop using it as a crutch.

    Move on. Also you aren’t going to attract better men until you better yourself.

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