“My mom and I constantly argue”

I can’t seem to stop fighting with my mom, and it’s tearing me up inside. We have big differences in ideology and faith and obviously age, but we’ve always been pretty close. She came to visit me during Thanksgiving, and I found myself becoming very easily annoyed with her (and other family) and snapping and fighting.

Since then, it’s been so hard to go very long without having a huge argument over politics, opinions, each other’s choices, etc. She makes me feel like if I question her logic (I have been in school in the science field, so it’s hard for me not bring up objections to logic), that I think she is stupid and I hate her. But I have explained it’s not personal, then she says incredibly mean and cruel and yes, illogical things to me.

I get so angry and hurt! I hate hurting her, and when I apologize, she just keeps arguing. It has been so long since she has humbled herself enough to apologize, and I resent it. She shoulders the entire burden of our problems on me, when I know we both have a part to play. I have tried talking to her less and keeping the subjects light, but it doesn’t seem to work. What can I do to make a very different mother and daughter get along again?

One thought on ““My mom and I constantly argue”

  1. Anonymous says:

    Keep the conversations short and light. Keep the visits this year short if possible and make sure to have a excuse to leave if possible. She’s not going to change now. All you can do is accept that is the person she is.

    I’m having the same issues with my parents and have from time to time. Normally it takes a huge life event to make them back and drop petty stuff. They go back to it really quick after the event is over.

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