“She’s angry that I want to work on my career”

I have been in a relationship with a young woman (she is 20 and I am 23) for about a year now, and she gets angry when I spend time away from her to advance my career.

We are both in college and I am an art student. We both also work. I have told her before that I plan to spend 50 to 60 hours a week in the studio for the rest of my life, attend shows, classes, lectures and exhibit openings, and that these time commitments are rarely, if ever, negotiable. I invite her to as many of these as I can, but it’s rare that she actually wants to join me. Many of these events do come up on short notice as well, but I always give plans priority in the order they were made. I spend 100% of my time not involved in these activities with her, yet every time I inform her that I will be spending a few hours outside of class time at a lecture from an accomplished artist, or working in the studio with someone who can teach me, or that I will work an additional shift so I can pay for rent and tuition, she becomes moody and sullen for either a few hours or a few days. This means that recently we’ve been spending about 50% of what little time we do have together silently stewing in her anger. I have now come to expect that any time an opportunity is presented to me that I will have to deal with her anger rather than be congratulated for moving forward in my field of study.

I would like to have the time we spend together be of a high quality, hiking, cooking and laughing together, but if she’s angry she goes out of her way to make that impossible. How can I fulfill all of my obligations while not making her angry? I don’t want to sacrifice our relationship, but I will put that on the chopping block before my career.


One thought on ““She’s angry that I want to work on my career”

  1. Anonymous says:

    You two aren’t a good match. You are both good people with different expectations out of life. You both need to move on since she’s being passive aggressive and you’ve been honest. Move on so you both can find someone who matches what you need sooner.

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