“I found out my boyfriend is on Tinder”

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I have been dating my boyfriend for year now. About 5 months ago, my boyfriend left for a week to Canada to play in a hockey tournament. When he came back, I found a screenshot of a girl from Snapchat on his camera roll, which led to me also finding his Tinder account. He was using his Tinder account when he was out in Canada.

His team had won the tournament, and his last night they went out. The screenshot of the girl was some Canadian girl from Tinder, and from the glimpse of the text said “I had a really fun night,” but I didn’t have the gut to read their text messages (the girls he message on Tinder were just flirting — he only gave his number out to this Canadian girl). Continue reading →

“My sister punched me in the head”

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I honestly don’t know what to do. About a month ago, I was punched in the head by my sister, so I moved into my aunt’s place. The problem is, I can get kicked out if anyone finds me living here, and there’s no where else to go.

My mother, who has a drug history and bad habit of running off and meeting men, has offered to buy a place for me and her. But she’s a drunk who loves to argue, so honestly I don’t know what to do. I just don’t want to exist anymore, to be honest.

“I don’t know why he is holding back”

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I had told my guy friend of 5 years that I liked him, his reply to this was that he’s not ready for a relationship, especially a long distance one, because he’s abroad. Keep in mind we’re still very close but he usually comes every summer.

The thing is, he didn’t reject nor admitted to liking me, but he still continues to treat me the way he used to. For instance, he will stare at me from a distance, and when I do catch him he turns shy and looks at his feet. Every conversation he maintains eye contact, holds my hand longer than a normal handshake would, and he’s very touchy.

This one time we were in a group conversation, and another one of my guy friends that he’s not too familiar with came up and hugged me from behind. The look and facial expression that he gave to the guy was so obvious, even my other guy friend saw and gave me the “what just happened” look. Continue reading →

“My friends don’t care I was hurt by my ex”

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I know there’s nothing I can do, but if anything, I just wanted to vent. I’m just feeling somewhat upset that my friends remain such close friends with my ex. It’s been years since things ended, but he cheated with my best friend at the time, among other things, so it left me with lasting insecurities.

I’d prefer never to see him or hear about him again, but we share so many mutual friends. I was hoping at least my closest female friends would understand how I feel, but it doesn’t feel so. Last night, I was out with a few girl friends, and they invited him out too. They got incredibly drunk and kept giggling about how much they adore him, how cute they think he is, how much they want to hook up with him, how they message him every single day, etc. They kept talking about it all night, and I felt so uncomfortable. I know I can’t dictate who my friends are friends with, and I know it’s ancient history.

Regardless, it was a part of my life that really messed me up, and I had hoped my closest friends would sympathize. I don’t expect them to never speak to him again, but I at least would imagine they wouldn’t constantly invite him to our girl’s nights out,  or gab about him incessantly in front of me. I just feel invalidated, like they never even acknowledged how hurt I was. I wish I could change the way I feel about this.

“My girlfriend wants to hang out with her exes”

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All of a sudden, my girlfriend says she’s no longer happy with me and started to want to change who I am. At the same time, she started hanging out with her cousin more, who has just become single. He has many guy friends, which my girlfriend had previously dated.

Every time she goes to hang out with her cousin, and she tells me they only hangout at his apartment, she gets fancied up. But no longer does that for me. I’m trying to figure out if I could trust her now, in the past I could, but recently not as much, due to her wanting to hangout with him more when her ex-boyfriends are around. Can I get some insight?

“I always fear rejection”

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There’s this girl in my class who I’m absolutely crazy about. I want to ask her out, but we never talk, and I guess you could say she’s out of my league. I keep thinking that there’s no way she would ever say yes and that there are more fish in the sea, but I’ve never felt the same about anyone, and I haven’t met anyone like her in my life. I always fear rejection, and I don’t want to let it go, because she seems like the only person for me. Could anyone advise me on what to do?

“Strangers always think we’re dating”

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I met this guy, we’ll call him Jason, about a year and a half ago. We hit it off immediately, and I had a crush on him since day one. My attraction was pretty apparent, but he always made it a point, in an indirect way, to tell me what his type was (which is the opposite or me), which led me to believe he was just putting me in the friend zone.

My friends would say he was a flirt, but I just took it as him being friendly, since he didn’t want “anything more.” So after that point we would hang out periodically just as friends, nothing more. When we hang out though, it is always a good time, and for long periods of time. He is the first close gay friend I’ve had, who’ve I’ve actually been able to talk to and share pretty much everything with.

Fast forward some time, we hang out, we get closer, and anytime there is any issue, he immediately wants to talk about it, very openly and wants to discuss feelings and resolve it. In my life I haven’t had many people, who I can talk to like this. Continue reading →

“I didn’t tell her I’m HIV-positive”

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I’m 27 years old, male, and HIV-positive. I met a girl and slept with her several times without telling her about the HIV. We used condoms every time, and I am on medication and undetectable.

I know it was the wrong thing to do, not talking about it. Now I am worried if I tell her, in an attempt to come clean and potentially continue a relationship, she could also send me to jail.

What should I do?

“I don’t know what to do with my life”

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I am feeling a little lost. I have recently come back from traveling around the world after two and a half years. A large part of me traveling was the fact that I was in a job I didn’t want to do anymore, and my dad having terminal cancer made me realize how short life was. The glimpse of tranquility and calmness I saw on his face really made me want to feel the “sense of freedom” he felt from packing his bags with little money.

I went traveling and loved it. I studied photography — a subject I had huge drive and passion for. During this time, my then-boyfriend moved in with me, and it all went down hill from there. I made my life about making sure he was happy, stopped doing things for myself, and to be honest, just felt as if I was no good at photography. Instead of learning the things that I didn’t understand, I simply saw every failure as me being a failure, and in the end, the guy I thought was going to be with me forever left me. I do not want to blame him or anyone else for my failures, and I know that we just weren’t suited. Continue reading →

“I’ve fallen head over heels for someone just under 30 years older than me”

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I’ve fallen head over heels for someone just under 30 years older than me. I am at University still. It crept up on us, we were friends for a long time before, so no, it didn’t come from a bad place. I haven’t told anyone and neither has he, to respect my parent’s reaction and repercussions. Do I wait until I leave Uni to tell people, when I am a fully fledged ‘do-what-I-like’ adult? I have never felt so free and trapped at the same time.