“Should I call it ‘our car’ or ‘my car’?”

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I’m living with my boyfriend of five years. Three years ago his daughter came to live with us. I’m the breadwinner, making nearly 10 times what he makes in a year, and so I’m heavily supporting our family.

We recently leased a car, when we had otherwise been relying on public transportation, Uber, and cabs. The car is completely in my name and on my credit, though his income was taken into account when we decided we had enough collectively to get a car. My boyfriend does not have a license nor does his under ‘driving-age’ daughter. When I talk about the car, I often call the car “my car” though I drive them wherever they need to go on most occasions. My boyfriend gets really defensive about me calling it “my car”. – which I think is mostly out of habit from when I had a car before, but could also be because I’m the only one that drives it, pays for it, and is ultimately responsible. Should I be more sensitive to this being a family car and calling it “our car”?

“I’m scared that I have depression”

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I recently have been feeling sad all the time, like I’d cry a lot for no reason, and the few times I’m happy, it lasts for a super short time. I took a lot on online tests just to make sure I didn’t have depression or anything like that. The first score I received said that I had a score of 87 for depression, so I almost definitely did have it. But I thought to myself, that can’t be right.

I took more and more tests, and they all say I have depression. I’m really scared about this. I want to talk to someone, but I feel like I can’t. All of my friends are all so happy right now, I just don’t want to ruin it for them. My family would never treat me the same if I told them. They’d treat me like I’d break at any moment or something, and that’s the last thing I want. Continue reading →

“It kills me that my friend is dating my crush”

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I’ve been spending a lot of time with this new group of people that I really enjoy hanging out with, which is great because I had been feeling a little bit insecure with my friend group before I met them.

One of them I have become very close to, and one of the others is a boy I used to have a VERY MINOR crush on in tenth grade. It turns out he’s a great guy, and I felt myself becoming attracted to him again, but he started dating another girl (who I am friendly with) and when that went south and he was a mess, and I comforted him often.

My other friend, Elaine, who I’ve become close to, confessed to me that she had feelings for him, and I told her it was understandable. They are now seeing each other and it kills me a little. I know what I have to do, but I’d love some confirmation. Thank you internet.

” I have a little (gay) crush on my friend’s sister”

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My Birthday is in two months and I plan to have a small party with some friends. One of the guests is a friend of mine. Problem is, I have a little (gay) crush on her sister, but never really talked to her except for at another Birthday party some time ago.

I’m not looking for a relationship and she’s probably straight anyway, but I would really like to be friends with her. Should I casually ask my friend to ask her sister if she wants to come too? Like “Hey, you can ask you sister if she wants to come too” or something like that. What should I do?

“A guy I like asked my best friend out”

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This week has been a shitty emotional roller coaster. Monday morning in class I was really happy because the guy I like sat by my computer even when I was working and we just talked all class and it was great. I was convinced that he felt the same way. Then he asked my best friend out that day and I was just devastated.

Initially I was in denial, because I was so sure that he liked me. I honestly thought that he was gonna ask my friend about me and saw me and then panicked, which is completely ridiculous. So I moped all the way through Tuesday and Wednesday, until Thursday, when a friend of mine told me that this guy was upset that he messed things up between us. This just confused me more because 1. I didn’t know he thought that there were “things” between us to begin with and 2. Why would him liking my friend ruin things between us?

Long story short, I still think about him all the time and I keep thinking of ridiculous scenarios where we could be together. I really need help trying to get over him while still being friends.

“I’m not sure if I’m transgender”

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I’ll just say it, I’m not sure if I’m transgender. In the past month or so, I’ve become fascinated with the idea of becoming a girl. I’ve been trying on the clothing and experimenting with hairstyles and makeup. My problem is, I don’t know how my girlfriend will take it if it were to ever happen, and I’m also not sure if I truly enjoy it or if it’s just a phase.

“I’m married to a drug addict”

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I’m married to a drug addict, opiates more specifically. He goes back and forth between admission and denial, but we’ll call it what it is. I didn’t know how big this problem was until he was fired from his job.

We have two small children that I’ve always stayed at home with, so I’m not currently working. I suspect that he’s taken out a loan and is using it to buy more medications, but he won’t tell me anything about it and obviously the loan officer won’t either. I’ve given him ultimatums without success. Now what?

“Has my boyfriend been seeing someone else?”

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I’ve just received some disturbing news from my estranged brother who lives with my boyfriend of two years; he told me that my boyfriend had been seeing one of his friends on the side for the past 18 months. He seemed so earnest when he told me, so I spoke directly to my boyfriend. (On a side note my brother and boyfriend have been growing apart for the past year now and barely stand each other anymore).

He said it was stupid and that it was complete bullshit, and he too looked so earnest and hurt about the accusations and I do trust him. I honestly don’t know who to believe because I trust both of them and they both looked and sounded so earnest. We’ve been together for two years and I’ve invested so much into this relationship that I don’t want to lose it.

My confession is that I want to ask my boyfriend to look through his phone, just to settle my paranoia. Even though I trust him wholeheartedly, I can’t stop thinking ‘what if’ and it’s eating me inside. But I don’t know how to ask without destroying everything in the process. But if I don’t ask, it’s going to destroy me.

“I don’t understand why our sex life has changed so suddenly”

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I’m 18 and my boyfriend has just turned 21, we’ve been together almost 8 months and we’ve never argued or had any real rough patches. But since about October/November it’s become really rare that we have sex.

It was about a month without it so I talked to him about it, and he said he’s not really sure why he has no sex drive and that it’s probably from stress. He gets stress problems from work and just general irritability. After a month of nothing we had sex a few times (still only once every few weeks or something) so I thought it was going back to normal but now it’s been a month and a half with no sex, no foreplay, making out or anything. Continue reading →